Friday, June 13, 2008


I'm not exactly sure what it IS about my children that causes them to not sleep. My mother-in-law, who is a doll, has instructed me to take her method of explaining things that drive me nuts about my children as "it's the Charming in them", as SHE always does, being that she and I aren't Charmings by blood, but merely marriage. Genius! So, I'm blaming the non-sleep gene on the Charming DNA. Not sure how accurate that is, though, as Prince Charming can sleep through ANYTHING, including a Princess fighting the pea under the mattress (she's our super restless sleeper, she takes up every bit of her full-sized bed every night) and a Hurricane at Category 5 level.

Case in point.... For some unknown reason, BOTH girls took super long naps yesterday, like from 2 pm until 4:45. I merely THOUGHT I knew what I was in for, being a late bedtime. So, we headed to our local WalMart (my favorite store. I know, I know, people have all sorts of ethical issues with it, but you just can't beat it for convenience and price, so no snippy "anti-WalMart comments, please), to kill some time.

Story within a story time:

They're getting rid of our store's fabric department, which makes me sad. I know that the fabric isn't the best quality, but it's great to be able to grab a few yards of the $2/yard stuff to practice an idea on, as I don't really sew from patterns, but more from the pictures and voices in my head, LMAO! So, the girls and I perused the fabric selections. I told them to each pick out some fabric and we'd make a nightgown, they need new nightgowns anyway. HRH chose (surprise, surprise) a pink princess material, and the Hurricane chose the purple version of the same. Super cute, and I grabbed a couple of tank tops to make really quick nightgowns. I LOVE their Garanimals stuff! Anywho..... we cruised through the dairy to grab some yogurt and cinnamon rolls and then head up to the cash registers. Yay! We're able to go to the Express lane. We finally get up to the front, and as the cashier (who could NOT have been less friendly) was about to start ringing me up, I realized that I left my wallet in my car. CRAP! I explain the situation, apologize profusely, and ask if she can hold on to my stuff while I dash out to the car and get my wallet. Not unreasonable, right? She heaves a HUGE sigh and says "I'll send it to the Customer Service desk". Now, I don't know how many of you have ever had the pleasure of standing in a WalMart Customer Service line on a Friday evening in southeast Texas, but it's a JOY, let me tell you. :X I'm slightly less than thrilled that she couldn't hold on to my stuff for the literally 3-4 minutes it would take me to run out to my car and grab my wallet. Nonetheless, I take a deep cleansing breath and head out in the heat (95ish) and humidity (just less humid than the Amazonian Rainforest, I'm guessing) and reach my car and run back, returning to the store in about 180 seconds.

yet another side note..... you'd think that since, upon arrival at said WalMart and noticing that someone had left a bag of groceries in the buggy I grabbed from the parking lot, prompting me to drop it with the greeter lady, you know, the one who gives the kids the smiley face stickers:

(not actual greeter)

That Karma would smile kindly on me for doing a good deed, right? Evidently not. I've got a bone to pick with Karma, and if something nice doesn't happen to me today, I'm gonna give her an earful!

Back to your regularly scheduled story-within-a-story.....

So, the evil cashier lady, let's call her Cruella, looks over at my sweating, panting, pathetic self, shrugs her shoulders (!), and goes back to scanning items as slowly as she can (b/c she gets paid by the hour, of course). I head over to the Customer Service desk, practicing deep breathing exercises as I walk to lower my blood pressure. Mercy of mercies! There is NO line! I walk right up to the counter and say "I need to pay for my things, I forgot my wallet and Cruella on register 3 sent them to you". Super nice CS lady, we'll call her Pollyanna, says "why, SURE, honey! Let me grab it off the counter over here and we'll get you taken care of!" :) So, she rings up the tank tops I grabbed, the Yoplait Whips, the Hannah Montana Danimals yogurt, the cinnamon rolls, and the straws, and then gets to the fabric...... She asks me if I have the ticket that shows the yardage and pricing of the fabric. Um, no. Why would I? Cruella had it in her hands when I dashed out the door to get my wallet.... I'm not sure why it's not with the fabric. (5 different cuts of fabric, probably 7 or 8 yards total). She rings Cruella... "Cruella, this is Pollyanna over at Customer Service, do you have the lady with the darling girls' ticket for her fabric (I do not tell a lie, lol! And my girls ARE darling.... most of the time :X)? What? Now, Cruella, why would you do that? What are we supposed to do now?" Oh, crap. What happened NOW?!?!!? Seems Cruella, in her infinite friendliness and helpfulness (typed with sarcasm dripping from my fingers), TORE UP the freaking ticket!!!!!!!!! The only thing I could do was go BACK to the fabric department and have everything remeasured and get a new ticket. Joy. Not getting the fabric was not an option, either, b/c both girls would NOT let me forget their promised nightgown. Is it Happy Hour yet?!?!??! So we schlep BACK to the fabric department, where Flo (real name, I swear, and she's a doll) had already heard the story (gotta love WalMart, LMAO!) and was waiting for me. She said "honey, just tell me how much of each you got, I trust you!". She whipped out a new ticket, the girls and I checked out and headed home finally!!!!! An hour later, they were sporting their new nightgowns:

HRH in full "we are NOT amused" mode and the Hurricane biting those blasted nails!!!!

Anyway, back to my original story (if you can remember what it was about, LMAO!)

We get home from WalMart, let them play while I'm making their nightgowns, have a snack, and then a bath, and snuggle in to fall asleep while watching The Cheetah Girls 2. Cheetalicious! ALL of CG2 goes by and no sleeping angels. So we turn off the TV and just lay there for a while, every few minutes I hear a "Mommy, I can't go to sleep" LOL! Finally, HRH falls asleep. It's 10:30. The Hurricane must be close on her heels, no? NO! 11:freaking:30!!!!!!!!!!!!! By the time I get a bubble bath (sacred to me and must be taken every night, no matter HOW late I have to stay up) and get into bed, it's after midnight. OK, logic says that we should probably sleep late. 8:00 or so, right? Um, not my Charming children! HRH is up at 6:00, yes, 6:00, the buttcrack of dawn, asking for Cocoa Puffs. I am sleepy, grumpy, and probably another dwarf or two today all rolled into one. They HAVE to sleep tonight, don't they? DON'T THEY?!?!?!?!!??

1 comment:

Regi S. said...

My kids definitely have their father's sleep genes. He can get by with 4 hours a night, I like about 14 ! It gets easier when they can pour their own dang Cheerios :) And OMG this is why I NEVER shop at Walmart ! Wouldn't be caught dead in there, no siree, not this designer label lovin' gal ! Really, Juli, have some couth !

I'm so dead