My, those words are tasty!

We've all eaten our words before (except for maybe my big sister Keri, she can't help it, she was made 98% perfect, it's her burden to bear in life, and we love her anyway ;) ). My most flaming examples seem to be in regards to parenting. I was one of those people who knew SO much about parenting before I had children. I HAD, after all, babysat all of my life and taught preschool/daycares as my only real job. So I WAS an expert, right? I thought so! Since the appearance in our little familia of HRH and the Hurricane, I have discovered that maybe (just MAYBE) I was not quite as naturally gifted on this subject as I previously assumed (perish the thought!). For example, these beautiful ditties have come out of my mouth on one (or more) occasion.... generally when speaking to Prince Charming about how WE were going to raise our perfect (cough, cough!) children as opposed to how other people we knew did it.....


~Our children will NEVER sleep with us. That's ridiculous.
..........................um, most nights, we have two little lovebugs with us in our queen sized bed. Yep, you read that right, a queen! We'd get a king, but our bedroom is too small :X HRH began sleeping with us when she was about 4 days old. This is a direct result from my fear that she would not breathe if I wasn't within 4 inches of her at all times. You wouldn't believe the things I can accomplish while holding and nursing a newborn (or toddler, for that matter). The Hurricane? Coslept in the hospital, lol. Cleanest bassinet EVER! A nurse walked in that first night to "check my vitals" (WTH do they do that anyway? It's freakin 3 AM, I just squeezed a watermelon out of my nether regions, leave me the HELL alone!!) and promptly said "oh, dear, you can't let her sleep with you here" to which I ever-so-nicely replied, "begging your pardon, ma'am, but I just gave birth to this little bundle of heaven, I can do whatever the hell I want to do with her, please don't wake me up again and don't let the door hit your butt on the way out". Or something maybe not quite as nice as that. In my defense on this whole subject, I do try to get them to at least start OUT the night in their bed once they hit 18 months or so. LOL!


~Yeah, I'll nurse, for a year, probably. Why on earth would you need to do that longer?
................ I'm nursing an almost-28 month old. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep crappy comments to yourself. I'm not asking YOU to nurse her, so you don't get a vote. I COULD say that I'm nursing her for added health benefits for her and me, as I have a family history of breast cancer, or to strengthen the bond between mother and child, but I'll be totally honest here and say I'm lazy. And a sucker. When she cries and asks to nurse b/c she's sleepy and says "pleeeeease, mommy?" I'm a puddle. Anyway, that falls into the NOYB category for anyone's opinions, so I don't really care what anyone thinks about it, for the record.


~As soon as baby's about 6 weeks or so, I'm finding a good sitter and having a girls' night out. (stop laughing Lara. I can hear you in Houston). Um, yea. I'm a tad bit "attached" to my girls. HRH had never been away from me for more than about 3 hours when I was in the hospital having the Hurricane. Hardest thing for me about having a second baby? Not the pitocin, not the labor, not the delivery, not the afterpains (which SUCK and no one will tell you about so you're wondering WTH is happening to you!)..... it was being away from my 2 yr old overnight. I couldn't sleep at ALL. No one has ever watched my girls for me that wasn't a family member. And I mean grandma or aunt.


and the best one ever?


~I will never let MY child behave that way!
...............I have carried both of my children, usually on separate occasions, but on one memorable day at the same time, surf-board style out of a store, while they were screaming at the top of their lungs at me. Generally this is caused by my refusal to buy a duplicate of a toy that we already have that they do not play with NOW or by my refusal to let them put 7 pieces of gum in their mouth at one time. You'd THINK I'd get appreciation for the fact that I am, in fact, saving their life in advance, keeping them from choking, as the Hurricane thinks gum is to be chewed about 10 times and then swallowed, but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. @@ Ungrateful little heathens!


And I have a two year old who bites and hits and pushes. All the while looking like a precious little delicate angel. Here she is, attempting to talk her way out of being in trouble one evening:






How could we stay mad at that precious little thing?

I'm sure I have more, but those are the biggies. :-)