Saturday, September 6, 2008

Have shoes, will ellipticate?

Or whatever it is that you call what one does on the elliptical machine. I found some shoes. With MUCH help from HRH (who was gunning for some hot pink and black shoes with skulls and crossbones on them, plus rhinestones) and the Hurricane (Lime green wedge espadrilles with ballerina laces up the leg...... girlfriend has STYLE!), I found some nice little Asics. I've been told those are good for people with high arches, and I've also been told I possess a pair of high arches. Before now, the only arches I really concern myself with are the golden ones. Both for their fries and for the newly discovered Redbox. Anyway, I got those, found a couple of cute little workout shirts on the clearance rack at Kohl's (best sales hands down of ANY department store), and headed home for a rest. It's hard work gearing up to exercise!

We get home and Prince Charming is like "Alright! Let's get changed and exercise!!!" I reminded him ever-so-nicely that I had already walked all over Kohl's, but he didn't seem to think that counted. Nevermind the skill that it takes to find and try on a pair of sneakers with a sleeping two year old lovebug and a four year old who demands to know why she can't buy a few pair of shoes "since we're already here".

So, we get changed and head to the YMCA. The girls happily (shock!) prance into the child care area, mesmerizing all around with their beauty and charm (not a shock). We leave them holding court over the rest of the group and head to the room with treadmills and things. Prince Charming says "let's try the elliptical". How hard could THAT be? Really! I'm such a good sport that I jump on and get moving. He watches me for a few minutes, then reaches over and turns my machine on. Oops :X I got my headphones plugged in so I could watch some news and start exercising my little heart out. I feel the burn in my legs. I'm thirsty, I'm sweating, my legs feel like jello. I glance down at my little monitor to see this:

Ye, ladies and gentlemen, I had burned exactly 13.9 calories. What kind of racket is this?!?!?!? I'm busting my butt and I worked off 7 Tic Tacs?!?!?!? Nuts. I stopped ellipticating (I'm going to assume this is a real word) to take a picture and the evil machine beeped at me and said this:

How rude!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, we did that for 35 minutes, Prince Charming kept turning up his volume on his headphones. I think maybe I whine a little :X

We did some random torture machines. I have weak deltoids (I think that's what it was), but very strong shoulders and back and surprisingly strong abs. (note: I did not say FLAT abs @@).

Picked up the lovebugs, where they were proud to show off the necklaces they made in our absence. They did great :*)

The girl who's going to be my little "trainer" and help me learn what to do called me today. We're meeting Tuesday morning while the lovebugs are in preschool. This should be interesting :)


*~~*Inger*~~* said...

LMAO!!!!! I can't believe that machine was giving you a bad time. That's what your girlfriends are for!! ;-)

gathering dust said...

haha. i feel your pain - ellipticals are the devil. i swear, 30 seconds on that takes 30 days off my life because i get so out of breath and angry at the machine yelling at me. so i've decided it's healthier to sit at home, watch project runway and top chef marathons, and eat ben and jerry's from the container.

CA Girl in 10-OC said...

You know that was a work out for me just reading! Do you realize I had to scroll down THREE times?? I need a drink!

Regi S. said...

I actually bought an elliptical, trust me go for the treadmill !

Lara said...

Oh, my goodness. I'm so proud, I almost cried. Wanna do a 5k with me in November? ;)