Sunday, August 17, 2008

My Sunday.....

My day started with getting a mention on Good Mom/Bad Mom's BlogShare Sunday..... Woo hoo for me!

You'd think that would be the start of a great day, wouldn't you? Yes? Well, let me fill you in, LOL! After a night of ENTIRELY too little sleep, thanks to watching Nim's Island with the lovebugs and then Treasure Island 2 with Prince Charming (side note - when did Nicolas Cage morph into someone kind of creepy looking?), then a molar-teething toddler who wakes up during the night demanding all sorts of things....
~Owie, my legs hurt
~Owie, my teef hurt
~I want to snuggle my daddy
~I want to snuggle my sister
~I'm hungry
~I'm thirsty
~I want milk
~I want water
~I need to go peepee
~I need to go peepee again
~I want my mommy
~I ready get up
~I want a breakfast bar
then her saving grace, the reason I don't toss her out in the backyard and lock the door:
~Mommy, I sowwy I not sleepy. I love you so much. I love you like this (big hugs).

Fast forward to said sleepyhead (once she fell back to sleep) wakes up at almost 9! WOO HOO! Wants a Lunchable for breakfast, but whatever. I'm not going to fight her to eat Lucky Charms.

We get a phone call inviting us to lunch at Papi and TiTi's house, NICE! I don't have to fix lunch! Prince Charming is leaving this evening for Rio de Janeiro (all together now.... awww.... poor thing), so dinner is easy too! I'm having Sam's brand Cajun trail mix and chocolate pie. HRH opted for peanut butter crackers followed by a Danimals drinkable yogurt and the Hurricane swears she just wants strawberry yogurt. Great day, no?

I take them to make a QUICK run to Hancocks (stop laughing at me, I'm SURE it's possible. Maybe not for me, but I really thought I just had to run in and grab some purple embroidery thread, as NONE of the seven shades I already have match an outfit I'm monogramming for someone). Well, they're having a MASSIVE sale! I thought we'd browse around a little, giving Prince Charming some time to take a little nap before he leaves on his red eye tonight. Five minutes in, the Hurricane starts crying pitifully because I choose to NOT buy tacky-looking Hannah Montana fabric that costs almost $10 a yard. I get her calmed down by letting her choose some patchwork woven fabric (adorable) for $2.69 a yard! SCORE! Works for about 45 seconds. Then she finds something else to be upset over. Fast forward a few minutes and she's so mad that I really expect an employee to come and ask me to leave (or call CPS). Doesn't want in the cart, doesn't want me to hold her, doesn't want to walk. I'm not quite sure what options she's leaving me at this point. She's escalated to telling me (And I'm saying "telling", while what I really MEAN is screaming at the top of her lungs to me) that "you NOT my mommy! Sister is my mommy! I no LIKE you! I go HOME!" but she doesn't want me to drive her home. At this point, I flat out tell her it's a 4 mile walk so she'd better get started if she wants to be home before dark @@. She's thirty seconds away from a full-floor tantrum, when she suddenly decides *I'M her mommy again. This is probably due to the fact that she just pooed in her panties and her NEW Mommy (HRH) has declined the option of cleaning her hiney-bo and figuring out what she's going to wear as her lame-o REAL Mommy (yours truly) forgot an extra pair of panties. The Nose of the South (HRH) loudly proclaims her displeasure at the aroma emanating from our little Hurricane's drawers. ALL the way across the store to the yucky employee bathroom. Lovely day I'm having. Really. Banner day in mommyhood here!

Get her cleaned up, then get back out and some strange virus has affected my lovebugs. They've been stricken and are unable to hear my voice! Odd! Something tells me that the Hancocks employees might not appreciate me screaming my fool head off at my little ingrates like I FEEL like doing, so I take deep cleansing breaths and calm my racing pulse and rapidly rising blood pressure. At this point, HRH is doing something (I still am not sure what) that causes her to fall, her flip flops flying across the aisle, hitting her head on the wheel of my shopping cart. REALLY?!?! SERIOUSLY?!?!? I'm a good person (generally, just don't drive slow in front of me), what the HELL is the universe trying to tell me here?!?! I stop browsing through all of the cute fabrics on sale, quickly get my two measly selections cut, check out, and go out to the car. I have to enforce the "you weren't good listeners and making good choices at the store, so you don't get the popsicle we talked about, you were WARNED!" rule, which means they're going to gang up on me and yell at me for a while. But they're tired. No naps, so it shouldn't last too long, right? Oh my GOODNESS!!!!!! My lovebugs are half German and half Mexican. Yep. I think today was a record-setting 45 minutes of crying anger to the meanest Mommy in the world. Get home and I've never seen Prince Charming pack his flight bag quite so quickly. Can't say I blame him, but he'd better bring me one HECKUVA present back from Rio, LOL!! At what point is it too early to add vodka to your iced tea? :X

So, the high point of my day was Mindy and Jenny deeming me worthy of a mention. They're so cool, I'm honored. I wonder if this will up traffic on my blog? Maybe I'll start getting lots of comments? I can dream, right? Regi says if I REALLY want a lot of traffic, I need to be controversial. Start talking about penises (penii?), my inlaws, things like that. Guess I'm doomed to mediocrity ;)


CA Girl in 10-OC said...

The fabric store WILL eventually get better. Basically when they start school and you have a whole blissful day to yourself to browse....but be prepared to part with your wallet!! LOL

Juli said...

Aw, come on, Dianne! I was totally expecting a "Jesus take the WHEEL!!!!!!" from you ;)

Maybe after my fabric store trip on Tuesday :X I have to get the Hurricane nap mat cover fabric! You'd think I'd learn my lesson, no? Evidently I'm not the greatest student :X

CA Girl in 10-OC said...

Girlfriend it takes more than a poops in the undies, a split head on the wheel of a shopping cart and the threat of two screaming banchies to keep a true sewer out of the fabric store. I'm surprised you're waiting until Tuesday!

Krystal aka Mommy K said...

LOL!! Aww the wonderful joys of being in a shopping center with screaming children wanting what they cannot have. Aren't they wonderful?

This weekend I have heard everything from the "You are not my mommy", the "I don't love you", the "I am leaving!" to the infamous "You little...." But then of course when time-out beckons, it is "Mommy please, I love you!" or the wonderful , "Mommy, you are the bestest! Can I laydown with you?" And of course it is in the smallest space left on the bed because hubby has taken over the other side, Princess has taken the footboard side and me and my big'ol belly are trying to stay on - How can I say no?

Lara said...

Please don't start talking about penises. That's just cheap humor. YOU, my dear sister, are real-life humor, and it's great. Can't wait to see you Friday!!!

*~~*Inger*~~* said...

Holy CRAP!!! I had no idea your Sunday was that awful. I hope you were able to uncork something!!

SuperMom said...

This is my day....everyday. Times 10. Minus the Hancock store....and sewing ability...

Shea, Meegan & Alex said...

This is soooooooo great! I guess I can laugh so hard now because I have 'been there, done that' already...only w/ one little precious princess (although she was a she counts for two as far as tempers go)! This made me laugh so much!

Regi S. said...

Awwww, school's starting ! Talking about penii and inlaws wasn't a suggestion :mortified at the thought: unless of course it's funny and harmless. :D It was an observation ;)