Simple Pleasures

As a parent, we're bombarded with commercials for things our kids evidently MUST posess to be a happy, intelligent, well-rounded child with good self-esteem. From video games to pretend play to light-flashing, noise-making doohickeymabobs, who can keep up with the latest and greatest? When, to be real and honest, all they need is a book of clearance stickers from JoAnns and a willing and able aunt.


Evidently, HRH thinks I'm super :)

Genetic anomalies

Ok, I'm beginning to think I may have reason to be concerned! My girls just begged me to go back and let them help me make my bed. Granted, it takes me at least 15 minutes to do so when they help, but they're so proud of themselves when they do it! HRH helps me pull the sheet and blanket up and Hurricane Lu hands us the pillows. Now, what concerns me is that this in NO way is a trait that they inherited from me. I come from the general philosophy school of "why make the bed if you're going to get right back into it". I used to only make my beds on the days that I put clean sheets on it (probably not as often as I should, but I digress.....). However, Prince Charming really really really prefers our bed to be made, as opposed to the rumply-sheet coziness that I tried to get him used to. So, out of deep devotion to my beloved, I attempt to make the bed every day now. Which is really something, because HE'S the one who completely wrecks our sheets by being a human windmill at night. He also is a first-class pillow destroyer, too, as he balls them up and flings them around in his sleep. Anyway, my concern is this. HRH looks like her daddy, she SO acts like her daddy, I swear if I wasn't there for the delivery, I'd wonder who her mother was!!!! I'm not sure she got much from me! Hurricane Lulu, on the other hand, is quite the little mini-me. She has two speeds, asleep, and gogogogogogogogogogo.

Sleep giggles

I was just getting Hurricane Lu down for a nap (literally, like 5 minutes ago), she she got the sleep giggles. I mean seriously, is there anything sweeter in life that that? A warm, baby-sweat-smelling, snuggly little bundle of love, wrapped around you like she KNOWS that you're going to put her in her crib or your bed the minute you think she's asleep just enough to not wake up but is going to give in anyway, and then she starts those soft giggles. :::::::::sighs:::::::::: I swear, I know that she is going to be the cause of 98% of my gray hairs (so far, at least, I cannot even begin to imagine what tricks God has up his sleeve for future lovebugs, LMAO!), but I could not love this child any more even if she was dipped in white chocolate and then drizzled with milk chocolate! I do, of course, realize that this is how the Almighty, in His inifite wisdom, makes one think "oh, I could SO have another baby!!!". I'm not THAT blind, lol. But I don't care. There's no such thing as too much love wafting through our little house. There's always room for more :) On the other hand, there IS this little thing we call sleep. And I would REALLY like for my youngest lovie to sleep a little better before I add another chunka into the mix. (I'd also prefer to not tandem nurse, and Lu appears to have NO intention of giving that up anytime soon. I can't even seem to nightwean her. Shhhhhhhhhhh. It'd probably help if I had her sleep in her own room all night, but let's be real here. If nursing her calms her down and gets her right back to sleep, therefore getting ME right back to sleep, and disrupting her Madgesty and the king of the castle as little as possible, who am *I to change that process? If it ain't broke, ya know? And yes, she sleeps with us. Big deal. HRH has been known to steal into our bed many nights, too. I figure they're rapidly.... waaaaaay too rapidly, approaching a time in their lives when Mom and Dad are completely uncool and all-too-eyeroll-worthy, so I'm going to soak up the snuggles now to make up for the drought later! Is this the longest paragraphed aside you've read lately? Sorry :X)

I'm making the COOLEST thing now. I'm gathering up things to make a quilt to give HRH someday. It's a surprise, so shhhh.... don't tell her! I have some of her artwork that I've scanned and printed onto photo fabric (the coolest stuff EVER!), and yesterday, I had her write her name on a piece of muslin. She's getting so good at it! She's only 3! Alright, alright, she'll be 4 soon, but don't burst my bubble. My kid is the smartest kid in the universe!! :::::ears in fingers:::: LALALALALLALAL I can't heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeearrrrrrrr you if you disagree. Anywho.... I took her to Hobby Lobby (her least favorite store, b/c I drag her and the Hurricane several times a week) and let her pick out embroidery thread that she likes, she chose a lovely pearl cotton in a variegated pinks/corals. Then I used that to embroider the name on the muslin my hand. I blatantly stole the idea from Soule Mama (www.soulemama.com. She has the coolest ideas.) Anyway, I'm going to save up little things like this and make her what I hope will be her favorite quilt ever someday. :) I'll do the same for Lulu once she gets cracking on stuff like this. Next up, I think some stick figures! She can rock a circle, too :)

The really light pink fades a bunch (and her "g" is backwards), but trust me when I say that this IS art.

Parenting Lessons

HOW TO PREPARE FOR BECOMING A PARENT

Lesson 1

Go to the grocery store.
Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
Go home.
Pick up the paper.
Read it for the last time.


Lesson 2

Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already
are parents and berate them about their:
Methods of discipline.
Lack of patience.
Appallingly low tolerance levels.
Allowing their children to run wild.
Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding,
sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.
Enjoy it, because it will be the last time in your life you will have
all the answers.


Lesson 3

To discover how the nights will feel...
Walk around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing
approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other
obnoxious sound) playing loudly.
At 10PM, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until
1AM.
Set the alarm for 3AM.
As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink.
Go to bed at 2:45AM.
Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
Sing songs in the dark until 4AM.
Get up. Make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years.
Look cheerful.


Lesson 4

Can you stand the mess children make? To find out...
Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all
summer.
Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
Then rub them on the clean walls.
Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?


Lesson 5

Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang
out.
Time allowed for this - all morning.


Lesson 6

Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and a jar of paint, turn it
into an alligator.
Now take the tube from a roll of toilet paper. Using only Scotch tape
and a piece of aluminum foil, turn it into an attractive Christmas
candle.
Last, take a milk carton, a ping-pong ball, and an empty packet of Cocoa
Puffs.
Make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower.


Lesson 7

Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it
out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like
that.
Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.
Leave it there.
Get a dime. Stick it in the cassette player.
Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back
seat.
Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.
There. Perfect.


Lesson 8

Get ready to go out.
Wait outside the bathroom for half an hour.
Go out the front door.
Come in again. Go out.
Come back in.
Go out again.
Walk down the front path.
Walk back up it.
Walk down it again.
Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes.
Stop, inspect minutely, and ask at least 6 questions about every
cigarette butt, piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue, and dead insect
along the way.
Retrace your steps.
Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbors
come out and stare at you.
Give up and go back into the house.
You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.


Lesson 9

Repeat everything at least (if not more than) five times.


Lesson 10

Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can
find to a pre-school child. (A full- grown goat is excellent).
If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat.
Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight.
Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.
Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having
children.

Lesson 11

Hollow out a melon.
Make a small hole in the side.
Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the
swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.
You are now ready to feed a nine- month old baby.


Lesson 12

Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street, Barney, Disney,
the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV for at least five
years.


Lesson 13

Move to the tropics. Find or make a compost pile. Dig down about halfway
and stick your nose in it. Do this 3-5 times a day for at least two years.


Lesson 14

Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying "mommy" repeatedly. (Important:
no more than a four second delay between each "mommy"; occasional crescendo
to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car
everywhere you go for the next four years.
You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.


Lesson 15

Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually
tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the "mommy"
tape made from Lesson 14 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with
an adult while there is a child in the room.

(Author Unknown, but they must have had kids...)

UPDATE

I just have to brag on myself here. Guess what little old me did? I fixed my embroidery machine all by myself!!!!! I called the shop where I bought it (it's a great little shop, I'm not complaining), and spoke with the owner. This lady is like THE smartest woman ever, b/c she's a sweet little old granny type who makes you feel like you can't argue with her or get irritated with her when she tells you that she *thinks the repair guy might come in this week to pick up machines, but she can't make any promises. All the while your pile of "to be embroidered" items grows by the minute.
Anyway, I digress. So after hanging up and feeling like I'm mad at my own grandmother and feeling guilty about it, I decide to take apart the machine myself and see if I can figure out what's wrong with it. Sounds like a GREAT idea, no? :X I'm sure anyone else you talk to would tell you "don't try this at home". But I got the cover off, started fiddling with it, and saw that a belt had come off of its track! Loosened a screw, popped the belt back on track, tightened the screw, and VOILA! It's fixed!!!!!!!!!


Snoopy Dance - The most popular videos are a click away

It's Election day here in the great state of Texas. If anyone actually reads this, I hope you take the time to vote! I'll have to go after I take HRH to Mother's Day Out. Our polling place has never seen the likes of my little Hurricane before, so this should be interesting!! I also have to call about my beloved embroidery machine. It's sick :*( The arm will move right to left, but it's messed up going front to back. I'm sure it's something terribly complicated that will take hundreds and hundreds of dollars to fix, but I don't even care. I have a stack of things to embroider, both for myself and for other people, so I HAVE to get it fixed ASAP. David is working in Seattle this week, so maybe I can just get it fixed while he's gone and hand him the bill when he gets home? I'm sure that will go over SO well.... (note to self, pick up all the fixings for his favorite dinner at the store on Thursday and clean the house on Friday). At least it waited until after the Art Show and Auction to poop out! One of my friends suggested that maybe it was tired ;)

It's in the 30s outside today. The weather is positively schizophrenic here this winter. We've gone from the 80s to the 30s in one or two days all winter. It's nuts! No wonder everyone around is sick! Of course, one day of warm temp and HRH is parading around the house in her swimsuits from LAST year, which is interesting, seeing as how she has shot up to over 40 inches now and sports quite the little wedgie on all of her one-pieces. I love little onepieces on her, but they just don't fit. Last year, GaGa bought her a one-piece for Easter and by June it was too short. I had to alter it and turn it into a two-piece.

I bought new towels this weekend! What joy! What's really pitiful is that we've been using towels we got as wedding gifts. We've been married almost 12 years! I'm evidently a simple girl, who gets thrilled by such things as new towels. They're so nice and fluffy. And I'm so optimistic about having free time that I bought some to match the color I'm GOING to paint my thimble-sized bathroom this summer or this fall. They look incredibly ridiculous against my lovely circa-1965 wallpaper with butterflies and flowers, but they're going to look awesome against the green paint I have for that room! Now if only I could embroider "his" and "hers" on them. :::::::sighs wistfully::::::: Oh, my Janome 350E, I miss you already and you're not even gone yet.

I'll have to bide my time getting to know and love this little sweetie, I guess:

But you'll always be my first love. :)

Whew!!!!!!!!

Ok, the art show and auction is over.... can you hear the Hallelujah Chorus, or is that just in my head? Our school managed to raise (gross) over $41,000!! And several of my pillows went for over $200 each. I'm thrilled :) :) :).

Yesterday was the king of the castle's birthday. 36. Eek! How am I old enough to be married to a 36 year old?!?! Of course, I WILL be 33 soon. I don't feel a day over 18 most days! He is incredibly hard to buy things for, so here is my present to him, LMAO!

Before:

after:

He was more excited by this than any material thing I could have given him, ROFLMAO! I can't help it. I'm not a "neat" person by nature. I tell him that I can either have creativity or cleanliness, and God did NOT bless me with the cleanliness. But he was thrilled and proud of the clean dining room. You should see the garage now, though :X

My mom was visiting this weekend, she just left this morning. We had a nice visit, she bought me a serger! I have shown tremendous restraint and haven't even turned it on yet, but as soon as I finish my lunch of leftover fried chicken and cheddar cheese slices, chased with a couple of cheesecake bites, I'm going to mess up the dining room again :X He'll understand, he loves me, LOL!

We went to a birthday party this weekend, for a little girl who is the Hurricane's age. She's so stinking cute! It was fun :) I've got to get cracking on my girls' parties. Less than a month away! I'm such a slacker. Mom of the year here! I'm so tempted to book a party at this neat outdoor place close to the house that has some sweet petting zoo animals running around, a zipline, toys galore, basically a few acres for the kids to just run free and be kids. HRH and the Hurricane LOVE it there. But I'm having scary flashbacks to last year, when I planned an outdoor party and it freaking SLEETED!!!! ACK! I need to just bite the bullet and figure it out and do something.