Signs my life is back to normal :)

This is amusing rather than irritating, LMAO! Hurricane Lu got ahold of a blue stamp. Which was fine when she was stamping a sheet of paper and saying "Eenie meenie miney moe", lol. Not so fine when she decided it looked like haute cuisine!

What I love is that she's so dang proud of herself, LMAO!!!!!!!!!! She said "mommy, look! I blue!"

I taught HRH to do the "superstar" pose a la Mary Katherine Gallagher. She added the "L"s herself. We're so proud :*)

The girls and I planted tomatoes today. Two little plants. I think that's all we'll try to start this year! I'm stinky as can be, after lugging around 40 pound bags of topsoil, but they're all clean and jammied and smelling of Face of the Wave's Buttermilk Baby lotion. mmmmmmmmmm........ LOVE it. I'll get a bubble bath after they go to bed. Right now, I'm listening to HRH watch Ella Enchanted. The Hurricane is asleep (hallelujah, praise the Lord, and amen!), and I'm blogging with a lovely glass of Argentinian Malbec :) Life is good! Now if only Prince Charming was on the same continent as me..................

Meanest Mommy in the world.

Alright, alright, I know I'm slacking in the blog department this week. I'm sorry. Let's call it an Easter Chocolate hangover, ok? To be honest, I'm having trouble thinking of stuff to write about, and I had a rough week.

I'm not quite sure what it was, but I was a crappy mommy this week. I just was cranky and short-tempered, and not to toot my own horn, but I usually am SUPREMELY patient and understanding with my girls. I try to find the fun and joy and "happies" in just about anything I can. This week? Not so much. It felt like life just left a big flaming pile of dog poo on my door and rang the bell. And it wasn't really any one thing in particular, either. That's what's so weird. The girls were a bit whiny and grumpy, but that's to be expected when they get back to our boring old house after a week of fun and cousins at GaGa's house (pics on their blog... link to the left). Anyway, Wednesday, I was informed by none other than HRH than I was mean and she wasn't sure she liked me very much and (my personal favorite.... said with hand on hip and shaking head at me) I'm not being understanding of her. I believe that this was said after she and the Hurricane got in trouble for relocating around 7 or 8 gallons of bathwater to the bathroom floor while I was running to get a clean towel from the dryer. On an ordinary average day, I might have found this irritating, but tried to come up with a positive, along the lines of "oh, thanks! I needed to mop the floor anyway and now I'm half-way done" or something insanely cheesy and Mary Poppins-y like that. This particular night, however, I'm almost 98% sure that steam was coming out of my ears as I walked into the office and informed Prince Charming that HIS children were about to drive me out of my mind and Mommy needed some ME time, and oh, by the way, would he be a dear and mop the bathroom floor? :X Lord love that man of mine, he swept the girls out of the errant bathwater's way, wrapped them up like tamales in their favorite towels, got them lotioned and jammied, while telling me to go check my email and he'd do the floor later. :::::Sighs dreamily::::: Is it any wonder I snatched him up as soon as I could, LOL? After the girls fell asleep (post- "sorry for making waves on the floor, Mommy"), I got to have a nice hot bubble bath with a glass of wine and a little bowl of M&Ms, while admiring my newly clean bathroom tile. (Note to self...... pick up steaks for a nice dinner on Monday when he gets home from Berlin). I think I needed that little outburst, because the next morning, I was back to normal. I have to admit, though, Wednesday night, Hurricane Lu came DANGEROUSLY close to being our youngest child, LOL!

It was also suggested that maybe I'm having a hard time dealing with the fact that in the next two weeks, my BABY is going to turn 4!!!!! And my OTHER BABY will turn 2! How is this possible?!?!??! They're BABIES! HRH will be in Pre-K next year and I'm so depressed. She is so old and mature and big :*( I sneak into her room at night and snuggle up to her and smell her hair and can flashback to the baby I longed for all of those years. Little Lu is a riot. She's grown up all of a sudden. I always was told that second babies grow up faster, but I didn't want to believe it. Now, when she was a newborn and had colic (most miserable thing EVER), I was ready for a LITTLE time to pass, but not like this! We were walking through Target yesterday and she was talking to herself (a regular thing, she's a chatty cathy), and I all of a sudden realized that she was naming off the days of the week!!!!! What is up with THAT? Someone stop time. I mean it. Right now. I keep bugging David to, and he says it's not possible. Why the heck does he think I married someone with an Aerospace Engineering degree? And his nuclear engineering training in the Navy? Completely worthless, evidently, in helping me with this. HMPH.

I'm back :)

I think that the one or two people who actually read this might have given up on me. Sorry! We were out of town for Easter. We had a nice visit with my family.
I'm back now, though. This will be short, b/c I have a mound of embroidery that I need to finish today and a patchwork twirl skirt to make, too. So, how about a quick DWTS recap? I just finished watching yesterday's elimination round, and America got it right. I feel bad for Monica Seles, but she needed to go. Penn knew he was leaving, lol. How about that Kristi Yamaguchi?!?! WOW! I'm loving watching her. Her rehearsal footage really had me thinking that she wouldn't be able to get out there and let loose, but she did! And Jason Taylor is just adorable! Mario is SO good. And Marlee Matlin just blows me away! Priscilla Presley was a big surprise, she looked SO nervous before her first performance, but she did a great job! And I just think Steve Gutenburg is precious. :) Shannon Elizabeth is really good, but she still looks like she'd be giggly, lol. She and Derek make a cuuuuuuute pair, don't they? :X Who am I missing? Adam Carolla? He's just having fun. He got better this week, but, bless his heart, he just has a touch too much of the white man syndrome. Marissa is getting better, but I imagine teaching her is like training a hyper chihuahua, lol. She's adorable, but it's probably hard to get her to focus, lol. Reminds me a bit of taking my dog Piper to obedience school. It was suggested to us that they could not do anything else and we had improved all we would, LMAO!

Dancey show!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ah! Spring! The flowers are blooming, the birds are singing, and Dancing With the Stars is back on the air! We ADORE this show. HRH and the Hurricane ask me daily "Is the dancey show on today?". We DVR it and watch it countless times during the week, learning dance moves. And this MUST be watched in full-on pretty princess dress. Last night's ensemble? HRH chose a lovely size 2T Snow White top and skirt. Never mind that three inches of belly showed in between the bottom of her top and the top of her bottom, she looked mah-velous! Hurricane Lu opted to wear nothing but Dora the Explorer panties and a pink tulle skirt. This is not a look many can pull off, mind you, but she rocked it. Not that I'm biased or anything, but my girls can really cut a rug! So , for the next few weeks, I have a feeling that my Tuesday posts will end up being DWTS discussions. :) Bear with me, please.

Now tonight, only the men danced. We did get a chance to see all of the competitors, though. Let's discuss the women first.

*******************disclaimer*************
If you're reading this and not from the South, you may not know about our "bless his/her/your heart" saying. This phrase, preceding any statement, takes the meanness out of it. For example, you might hear "bless his heart, he's just dumber than a box of rocks". You're not trying to be mean, just stating a fact. I only bring this up because, well, you'll see.
******************************************
Shannon Elizabeth. She sure is pretty. And giggly. And proud :X And I can't decide if she was being funny or b*tchy towards Marissa Janet Winokur at the end there. Thoughts?

Marlee Matlin. I can't wait to see how she is going to actually do this. I'm really excited about her. I do wonder, why, when she speaks using her own voice for acting roles, would she use an interpreter here? Just strikes me as a little odd.

Priscilla Presley. Bless her heart (see!).... she looks like she's had so much work done that she'd melt in 80 degrees. :( She's such a naturally beautiful lady, why would she feel the need to get all Michael-Jackson/Joan-Rivers-y?

Monica Seles. I liked her! I wasn't expecting to, but she seems so cool and laid-back, like the kind of person I'd want to be friends with in real life.

Marissa Janet Winokur. I have been a HUGE fan of her for a while now. She's done Broadway, so it seems like she has an advantage, but I hear that dancing with a partner is way different. We'll see!

Kristi Yamaguchi. I have to admit, I don't know much about her, you really don't hear about her anymore. She's definitely athletic and graceful, I'll bet she's really good at the classic ballroom stuff. I suppose we'll see tomorrow.

Before we go on to the men, can we observe a moment of silence for Maksim's decision to sit this season out? :*( Me so sad. And no Alec Mazo, either?!?!?! What is the world coming to?!?!

OK, the dancing!

Penn Jillette. Poor Kym. She keeps getting paired up with people who just can't dance! What is UP with that? She's an awesome partner, comes up with the neatest and most original dances (remember Jerry Springer? LOL!). I just wish they'd give her someone she had a fighting chance with!

Jason Taylor. Oh my goodness! What a cutie pie! My heavens, he's a tall drink of water. Looks SO graceful out on the floor, too! I can't wait to see what he does in the Latin dances! ;) LOVED the pink tutu. So did HRH and the Hurricane, they got all excited, then got the giggles "because daddies don't wear pretty princesses!!!!!!" LOL!

Cristian de la Fuente. I had something cute and witty to say about how "fuente" means "hot" or something of the sort. Imagine my crushing disappointment when I googled, only to find out it means "fountain" LMAO! I was a little disappointed in his dancing, as well. He has room to improve, but he's still adorable to look at!

Adam Corolla. Poor, poor Adam. LOL! Not so good. And poor Julianne. But it's someone else's turn to win now. She can concentrate on her album! He wasn't as terrible as I thought he'd be, and I think Julianne's fans will carry them a few weeks, but he won't last, I'll bet.

Mario. He's so freaking adorable!!!!!! Am I the only one who thinks he looks like Chris Rock? BOY that fella can dance, too! I really like Karina, and I'm happy she got a good competitor this year. LOVED his cha cha!

Steve Guttenberg. He is this season's John ratzen-whatever. You know, Cliff from Cheers. Much better than anyone thought, a charmer, and having a BLAST! So much fun to watch :) I think he'll go farther than anyone expected, if only he has the fan base to pull him through.

OK, that's it. I think. Not sure I'll have time for a ladies' recap tomorrow, as the girls and I are hitting the road for an Easter visit to GaGa's house. Daddy will be meeting us there for the weekend. May my one or two readers have a Blessed Easter, safe travels if you are going anywhere, and a great week!

Too cool for school

Today was such a beautiful day here. Sunny, mid-70s, the kind of day that makes you want to roll the windows down and open the sunroof and blast your favorite music. Which is what HRH and I did, on our way to spend the day out at our property (a couple of acres upon which we plan to build our dream house in a year or so). The Hurricane chose to ride with Daddy and Piper (our nut of a dachshund) out there, so that left me and her Madgesty. We made the 10 minute drive with the wind blowing through our hair, cool shades on, and jamming to my self-burned CD of 90s hair bands (think GNR, Queensryche, Bon Jovi, Motley Crue, Def Leppard, etc.). She informs me that her favorite song is now "the Jungle one". When I figure out that she means GNR's Welcome to the Jungle, I have to admit that my heart swelled . :) I know what you're thinking..... I'll go ahead and address it. Yep, I'm just THAT cool. And evidently HRH has inherited that gene from me :) She likes Meatloaf, too :)


And this update on Lu is just for you, Ang! She's not pretend pottying in public. Nope, she's nursing her baby dolls, stuffed animals, etc. And let's just say she's NOT a modest nurse-in-public-er. :X And she likes to draw attention to the fact of what she's doing by yelling "SShhhhhhh.... baby cry. Baby wanta nurse. YuYu nurse da baby". Sorry. No pics (yet).

My morning happy

I have learned to find joy in every little thing I can. In our house, we call them "happies". We have a super busy Saturday today, with a baby shower for a family friend, tons of embroidery calling my name, and a St. Patrick's Day dinner with our very Irish Uncle John. So, here is my morning happy : Hurricane Lu woke up early with me today, so we had a good hour or so to hang out and visit before the rest of the household joined us. She asked to watch "brr brr mah" (which is High School Musical, she calls it that because of the sounds that Sharpay and Ryan make when they are warming up to perform). And evidently, found the need to do some nakey dancing :)

That adorable teeny little tushy twirling around to "Bop to the Top" will make me smile all day :)

Sprung

Spring has! Sprung, that is. Don't you read the titles? LOL! It's 85 degrees here and sunny and all around one of the most beautiful days we've had so far!!!! I can't WAIT for the bluebonnets, but I'll bide my time with these lovelies:




and my long-forgotten parsley from last summer has gone haywire!

These are my favorite flowers to see. Some call them weeds, but I call them the sweetest bouquet ever :)
We've even bought swimsuits!!! I have a sickness, I tell you :X But how stinking CUTE is this?

And finally..... this is how long I have to wait to eat the yummiest bread! WHO bread, courtesy of SouleMama. SO yummy!!!! My house smells amazing, lol!

Is it just me?

Or does it seem that on the days when I desperately needed another hour (or four) of sleep, THOSE are the days that chance seems to put the most trying people in my path? Honest to goodness, I ask of the one or two people that might randomly stumble across this blog, what on EARTH would be going through someone's head to see a harried young mother (yes, I'm young..... 30's the new 20, right?) wrestling an uncooperative 23 month old into her carseat while juggling three bags of fabric and a ringing cell phone that would cause them to think "I'm going to pull up RIGHT behind her and wait for my kids/wife/husband/granny/mailman/whatEVER to come out of the restaurant right here. Never mind that the aforementioned nice lady won't be able to raise her tailgate to put in her purchases because I'm so fling-flanging close to her car. {and let me tell you, the lady obviously needed her purchases or she wouldn't have been at Hancock's (what should be a fun place to drift through and dream about what you want to make with all the pretty fabrics) with a child who has morphed into a breed of creature that in our house we call a Grumpalumpagus}. So, after standing by the end of my car with my hand on the handle of the tailgate for literally three or four minutes (which doesn't sound THAT long, but think about it, that's 180-240 seconds. Not awfully short when you're really irritated), I go back to the front seat, turn on the car so the Hurricane can watch her beloved High School Musical (yep, she's a preteen trapped in a teeny tiny body) and go BACK to stand behind my car. Finally, the doofus turns to look at me, feigns surprise (not very good at it, I might add) and rolls down the window to ask me if I need him/her to back up. Ummm...... yeah? Ladies and gentlemen, the award for the morning's most ridiculous question goes to.......... the envelope please....... oh, wow! It's meanie-tailgate-blocking person! UGH!
When I got home, it was brought to my attention that it MIGHT have been an innocent accident, but I'm not sure I buy it. And I'm not unreasonable or impatient. Nope, not me. You must have me confused with someone else.
Oh! one more, from yesterday, too. Imagine that! This one is quick, though, I promise.
I get a cell phone call yesterday afternoon. It was Texas Children's Opthalmology Specialists Scheduling calling to schedule Hurricane Lu's surgery. Huh? What? Are you sure you have the right number? They have the right name and the right child's name. Finally figured out that this was the lady who was supposed to call me in JANUARY (they promised a call that afternoon when I left the consultation) to schedule an appt for early February to clear out some scar tissue leftover from the great double stye that we dealt with back in October. @@@@@@@@@@@@ (those are my eyeballs rolling off of the screen). I kindly said "I'm sorry, but you were supposed to call in January to schedule this. We've decided against having the procedure done, but thanks for the timely follow-up call". What is WRONG with that office? The doc was amazing, LOVE him, if you ever need a pediatric opthalmologist, email me for a recommendation! But the schedulers, come ON! Get real!
However, to end my day on a lovely note, my wonderful mother-in-law brought over fried chicken for supper! Yippee skippy!

::::::::::yawn::::::::::::::

So it seems that the Hurricane decided that 3:50 was a good time to greet the morning today. All attempts to snuggle her back to sleep were rebuffed, and a little rudely, I might add. ;) She's like the Energizer Bunny, I swear I have no idea where she gets her get-up-and-go, especially at the unholy hour of 4 AM!!!! If I felt more well-rested and steady-handed, I'd head into the dining/sewing room and finish up the latest nap-mat cover I'm working on. SO stinking cute, it's all pinks and limes and white and black and flowers and full of girly deliciousness. But I'd probably serge my finger into the seam if I tried to do it right now. I have a stack of "to do" in my sewing/craft/embroidery space sky high right now. I finished one mat Sunday. How cute is this?

I donated a cover to HRH's school auction and after the auction had several people come up to me and ask if they could buy one! How cool is that?

I also monogrammed a couple of swimsuits for Madge's school's resident fashionista :) I'm blatantly stealing the idea and may even hit the Osh Kosh outlet for the exact swimsuit, as it was beyond adorable. Pink and white stripe with bright orange binding and straps. Mono in orange. To DIE for! HRH and Hurricane Lu must have. :X

Simple Pleasures

As a parent, we're bombarded with commercials for things our kids evidently MUST posess to be a happy, intelligent, well-rounded child with good self-esteem. From video games to pretend play to light-flashing, noise-making doohickeymabobs, who can keep up with the latest and greatest? When, to be real and honest, all they need is a book of clearance stickers from JoAnns and a willing and able aunt.


Evidently, HRH thinks I'm super :)

Genetic anomalies

Ok, I'm beginning to think I may have reason to be concerned! My girls just begged me to go back and let them help me make my bed. Granted, it takes me at least 15 minutes to do so when they help, but they're so proud of themselves when they do it! HRH helps me pull the sheet and blanket up and Hurricane Lu hands us the pillows. Now, what concerns me is that this in NO way is a trait that they inherited from me. I come from the general philosophy school of "why make the bed if you're going to get right back into it". I used to only make my beds on the days that I put clean sheets on it (probably not as often as I should, but I digress.....). However, Prince Charming really really really prefers our bed to be made, as opposed to the rumply-sheet coziness that I tried to get him used to. So, out of deep devotion to my beloved, I attempt to make the bed every day now. Which is really something, because HE'S the one who completely wrecks our sheets by being a human windmill at night. He also is a first-class pillow destroyer, too, as he balls them up and flings them around in his sleep. Anyway, my concern is this. HRH looks like her daddy, she SO acts like her daddy, I swear if I wasn't there for the delivery, I'd wonder who her mother was!!!! I'm not sure she got much from me! Hurricane Lulu, on the other hand, is quite the little mini-me. She has two speeds, asleep, and gogogogogogogogogogo.

Sleep giggles

I was just getting Hurricane Lu down for a nap (literally, like 5 minutes ago), she she got the sleep giggles. I mean seriously, is there anything sweeter in life that that? A warm, baby-sweat-smelling, snuggly little bundle of love, wrapped around you like she KNOWS that you're going to put her in her crib or your bed the minute you think she's asleep just enough to not wake up but is going to give in anyway, and then she starts those soft giggles. :::::::::sighs:::::::::: I swear, I know that she is going to be the cause of 98% of my gray hairs (so far, at least, I cannot even begin to imagine what tricks God has up his sleeve for future lovebugs, LMAO!), but I could not love this child any more even if she was dipped in white chocolate and then drizzled with milk chocolate! I do, of course, realize that this is how the Almighty, in His inifite wisdom, makes one think "oh, I could SO have another baby!!!". I'm not THAT blind, lol. But I don't care. There's no such thing as too much love wafting through our little house. There's always room for more :) On the other hand, there IS this little thing we call sleep. And I would REALLY like for my youngest lovie to sleep a little better before I add another chunka into the mix. (I'd also prefer to not tandem nurse, and Lu appears to have NO intention of giving that up anytime soon. I can't even seem to nightwean her. Shhhhhhhhhhh. It'd probably help if I had her sleep in her own room all night, but let's be real here. If nursing her calms her down and gets her right back to sleep, therefore getting ME right back to sleep, and disrupting her Madgesty and the king of the castle as little as possible, who am *I to change that process? If it ain't broke, ya know? And yes, she sleeps with us. Big deal. HRH has been known to steal into our bed many nights, too. I figure they're rapidly.... waaaaaay too rapidly, approaching a time in their lives when Mom and Dad are completely uncool and all-too-eyeroll-worthy, so I'm going to soak up the snuggles now to make up for the drought later! Is this the longest paragraphed aside you've read lately? Sorry :X)

I'm making the COOLEST thing now. I'm gathering up things to make a quilt to give HRH someday. It's a surprise, so shhhh.... don't tell her! I have some of her artwork that I've scanned and printed onto photo fabric (the coolest stuff EVER!), and yesterday, I had her write her name on a piece of muslin. She's getting so good at it! She's only 3! Alright, alright, she'll be 4 soon, but don't burst my bubble. My kid is the smartest kid in the universe!! :::::ears in fingers:::: LALALALALLALAL I can't heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeearrrrrrrr you if you disagree. Anywho.... I took her to Hobby Lobby (her least favorite store, b/c I drag her and the Hurricane several times a week) and let her pick out embroidery thread that she likes, she chose a lovely pearl cotton in a variegated pinks/corals. Then I used that to embroider the name on the muslin my hand. I blatantly stole the idea from Soule Mama (www.soulemama.com. She has the coolest ideas.) Anyway, I'm going to save up little things like this and make her what I hope will be her favorite quilt ever someday. :) I'll do the same for Lulu once she gets cracking on stuff like this. Next up, I think some stick figures! She can rock a circle, too :)

The really light pink fades a bunch (and her "g" is backwards), but trust me when I say that this IS art.

Parenting Lessons

HOW TO PREPARE FOR BECOMING A PARENT

Lesson 1

Go to the grocery store.
Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
Go home.
Pick up the paper.
Read it for the last time.


Lesson 2

Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already
are parents and berate them about their:
Methods of discipline.
Lack of patience.
Appallingly low tolerance levels.
Allowing their children to run wild.
Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding,
sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.
Enjoy it, because it will be the last time in your life you will have
all the answers.


Lesson 3

To discover how the nights will feel...
Walk around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing
approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other
obnoxious sound) playing loudly.
At 10PM, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until
1AM.
Set the alarm for 3AM.
As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink.
Go to bed at 2:45AM.
Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
Sing songs in the dark until 4AM.
Get up. Make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years.
Look cheerful.


Lesson 4

Can you stand the mess children make? To find out...
Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all
summer.
Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
Then rub them on the clean walls.
Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?


Lesson 5

Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang
out.
Time allowed for this - all morning.


Lesson 6

Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and a jar of paint, turn it
into an alligator.
Now take the tube from a roll of toilet paper. Using only Scotch tape
and a piece of aluminum foil, turn it into an attractive Christmas
candle.
Last, take a milk carton, a ping-pong ball, and an empty packet of Cocoa
Puffs.
Make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower.


Lesson 7

Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it
out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like
that.
Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.
Leave it there.
Get a dime. Stick it in the cassette player.
Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back
seat.
Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.
There. Perfect.


Lesson 8

Get ready to go out.
Wait outside the bathroom for half an hour.
Go out the front door.
Come in again. Go out.
Come back in.
Go out again.
Walk down the front path.
Walk back up it.
Walk down it again.
Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes.
Stop, inspect minutely, and ask at least 6 questions about every
cigarette butt, piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue, and dead insect
along the way.
Retrace your steps.
Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbors
come out and stare at you.
Give up and go back into the house.
You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.


Lesson 9

Repeat everything at least (if not more than) five times.


Lesson 10

Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can
find to a pre-school child. (A full- grown goat is excellent).
If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat.
Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight.
Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.
Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having
children.

Lesson 11

Hollow out a melon.
Make a small hole in the side.
Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the
swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.
You are now ready to feed a nine- month old baby.


Lesson 12

Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street, Barney, Disney,
the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV for at least five
years.


Lesson 13

Move to the tropics. Find or make a compost pile. Dig down about halfway
and stick your nose in it. Do this 3-5 times a day for at least two years.


Lesson 14

Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying "mommy" repeatedly. (Important:
no more than a four second delay between each "mommy"; occasional crescendo
to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car
everywhere you go for the next four years.
You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.


Lesson 15

Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually
tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the "mommy"
tape made from Lesson 14 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with
an adult while there is a child in the room.

(Author Unknown, but they must have had kids...)

UPDATE

I just have to brag on myself here. Guess what little old me did? I fixed my embroidery machine all by myself!!!!! I called the shop where I bought it (it's a great little shop, I'm not complaining), and spoke with the owner. This lady is like THE smartest woman ever, b/c she's a sweet little old granny type who makes you feel like you can't argue with her or get irritated with her when she tells you that she *thinks the repair guy might come in this week to pick up machines, but she can't make any promises. All the while your pile of "to be embroidered" items grows by the minute.
Anyway, I digress. So after hanging up and feeling like I'm mad at my own grandmother and feeling guilty about it, I decide to take apart the machine myself and see if I can figure out what's wrong with it. Sounds like a GREAT idea, no? :X I'm sure anyone else you talk to would tell you "don't try this at home". But I got the cover off, started fiddling with it, and saw that a belt had come off of its track! Loosened a screw, popped the belt back on track, tightened the screw, and VOILA! It's fixed!!!!!!!!!


Snoopy Dance - The most popular videos are a click away

It's Election day here in the great state of Texas. If anyone actually reads this, I hope you take the time to vote! I'll have to go after I take HRH to Mother's Day Out. Our polling place has never seen the likes of my little Hurricane before, so this should be interesting!! I also have to call about my beloved embroidery machine. It's sick :*( The arm will move right to left, but it's messed up going front to back. I'm sure it's something terribly complicated that will take hundreds and hundreds of dollars to fix, but I don't even care. I have a stack of things to embroider, both for myself and for other people, so I HAVE to get it fixed ASAP. David is working in Seattle this week, so maybe I can just get it fixed while he's gone and hand him the bill when he gets home? I'm sure that will go over SO well.... (note to self, pick up all the fixings for his favorite dinner at the store on Thursday and clean the house on Friday). At least it waited until after the Art Show and Auction to poop out! One of my friends suggested that maybe it was tired ;)

It's in the 30s outside today. The weather is positively schizophrenic here this winter. We've gone from the 80s to the 30s in one or two days all winter. It's nuts! No wonder everyone around is sick! Of course, one day of warm temp and HRH is parading around the house in her swimsuits from LAST year, which is interesting, seeing as how she has shot up to over 40 inches now and sports quite the little wedgie on all of her one-pieces. I love little onepieces on her, but they just don't fit. Last year, GaGa bought her a one-piece for Easter and by June it was too short. I had to alter it and turn it into a two-piece.

I bought new towels this weekend! What joy! What's really pitiful is that we've been using towels we got as wedding gifts. We've been married almost 12 years! I'm evidently a simple girl, who gets thrilled by such things as new towels. They're so nice and fluffy. And I'm so optimistic about having free time that I bought some to match the color I'm GOING to paint my thimble-sized bathroom this summer or this fall. They look incredibly ridiculous against my lovely circa-1965 wallpaper with butterflies and flowers, but they're going to look awesome against the green paint I have for that room! Now if only I could embroider "his" and "hers" on them. :::::::sighs wistfully::::::: Oh, my Janome 350E, I miss you already and you're not even gone yet.

I'll have to bide my time getting to know and love this little sweetie, I guess:

But you'll always be my first love. :)

Whew!!!!!!!!

Ok, the art show and auction is over.... can you hear the Hallelujah Chorus, or is that just in my head? Our school managed to raise (gross) over $41,000!! And several of my pillows went for over $200 each. I'm thrilled :) :) :).

Yesterday was the king of the castle's birthday. 36. Eek! How am I old enough to be married to a 36 year old?!?! Of course, I WILL be 33 soon. I don't feel a day over 18 most days! He is incredibly hard to buy things for, so here is my present to him, LMAO!

Before:

after:

He was more excited by this than any material thing I could have given him, ROFLMAO! I can't help it. I'm not a "neat" person by nature. I tell him that I can either have creativity or cleanliness, and God did NOT bless me with the cleanliness. But he was thrilled and proud of the clean dining room. You should see the garage now, though :X

My mom was visiting this weekend, she just left this morning. We had a nice visit, she bought me a serger! I have shown tremendous restraint and haven't even turned it on yet, but as soon as I finish my lunch of leftover fried chicken and cheddar cheese slices, chased with a couple of cheesecake bites, I'm going to mess up the dining room again :X He'll understand, he loves me, LOL!

We went to a birthday party this weekend, for a little girl who is the Hurricane's age. She's so stinking cute! It was fun :) I've got to get cracking on my girls' parties. Less than a month away! I'm such a slacker. Mom of the year here! I'm so tempted to book a party at this neat outdoor place close to the house that has some sweet petting zoo animals running around, a zipline, toys galore, basically a few acres for the kids to just run free and be kids. HRH and the Hurricane LOVE it there. But I'm having scary flashbacks to last year, when I planned an outdoor party and it freaking SLEETED!!!! ACK! I need to just bite the bullet and figure it out and do something.