What not to wear..... Wings over Houston edition....

So we went to the air show this weekend. Prince Charming has been campaigning to go to this for YEARS now, so we finally went. After my fifth "Why the HECK would someone wear that to an air show!?" the thought struck me that I should take pictures for my adoring public to enjoy. (Ok, ok, so for Lara. And maybe Hayley :) And my loopie buddies :) Not sure anyone else actually reads this.)

Exhibit A:

Not sure you can see clearly, but Miss Thang has on 4 inch espadrille platform wedges with the ribbons that lace up her legs. This was at like 10:00 AM and she was already limping. NOT the smartest thing to wear to an air show.

Exhibit B:


A slinky sundress and heels? REALLY? I mean, REALLY? It's like 90 degrees outside and we're going to walk and sweat and be all stinky in an hour. Everyone else is wearing blue jeans or shorts and t shirts and flip flops. When you were thinking about what to wear this morning, THIS is the outfit that struck you as ideal? Really?

I pondered the ridiculousness (ridiculosity? Ridiculity? Help me here, teachers!) of this for approximately a minute, and THEN I saw the Air Force guy she was "asking questions about the aircraft" to....
Oh, sweetie. You're forgiven :)

And the t-shirts..... My number one was almost a (read dripping with sarcasm) REALLY attractive and cleancut guy who had on a shirt that said "I'm not a gynecologist, but I'll take a look." I threw up a little in my mouth because of that shirt. I couldn't figure out a way to take his picture of him without him noticing, and I didn't want him to realize he was the object of my attention, so I was bummed. And then I saw this guy (cover the kids' eyes)....
LOVELY. And don't you know she's as proud as she can be of her man? Ick. At a family air show! I swear, some people just shouldn't be allowed to buy their own clothing.

We also went to a family wedding down in Houston and on the way home today I stopped at IKEA for the first time ever, but THAT'S a whole 'nuther post. Maybe tomorrow. ;)

Shiny fingernails!

::::::::polishing fingernails on shirt:::::::::::
Yep, I've got them! And a bruise on my back from where I've been patting myself ;) I'm proud because I made a dress FROM A PATTERN! Those of you who know me well know that I SO do not use patterns. They skeeve me out. I think they're always so much more complicated than they should be. But I wanted a specific dress for the girls to wear for sister pics on Thursday, and found some material I like, so off I went to cutting out a pattern. It's one my mom had bought and cut me a copy of in both of the girls' sizes. Well, I neglected to get the DIRECTIONS on how to sew the dress together. Of course, those of you who know me well also know exactly what I said at the point I figured this out. (no, not THAT.....) I said "how hard could this BE?". (So I've never claimed to be a genius!) I'm happy to say that after only four phone calls to my mom and one to my sewing guru friend Neile, VOILA!!!!!!!!

It still needs to be hemmed and have buttonholes put in, but I'll do that tomorrow! What do you think? Now to make it in a size 2, lol! By Thursday! I have to sneak in a gypsy skirt for HRH's individual pictures on Wednesday, too, but those only take about 20 minutes, so that's a no-brainer.

A shoutout and I was tagged!

My very dear longtime friend Angela sent me this DARLING banner for the top of my blog!! How precious is that!? Thank you SO much, Ang! I am so grateful, as I have absolutely NO talent for that sort of thing!

And she also tagged me.....

Here are the rules:

1. Open your pictures folder.
2. Go to the sixth folder.
3. Open the sixth picture.
4. Import into your blog and tell the story.

So here's the photo:
Look at my babies!!! This is from September of 06, so the Hurricane was more of a Tropical Depression at that point in time ;) She was 5 months old and HRH was 2 years and 5 months old. This was back when they were both still full time sleeping with us every night. As little as that bed felt those nights (we only have room for a queen in our long narrow bedroom), I sure do miss those days! I just love how Lu has her arms wrapped around HRH's arm and her face smashed up against her. My sweet little babies! I can't believe that Lu is as old now as HRH was in that picture! That doesn't seem real!

My turn for tagging people! I usually tag my loopie email friends, but I'm going to shake it up a bit now and tag Lara and one of the coolest teachers from the girls' school Hayley. :)

RECHARGE!!!!

OK, so we've been feeling a little harried and crazy around here lately. It's HARD having two in preschool, making lunches, making sure they have something adorable to wear every day, making sure they have non-flip flops to wear, convincing the Hurricane that if she wants to wear big girl panties to school then she has to start going poopoo in the potty and that dumping poo from her panties into the potty herself isn't sufficient, just waking up on Tuesday through Thursday in time to do everything. And we only live about 2 miles from the school, lol! I can't imagine how fun this will all be when we finally build and move! Anyway, we were needing a family recharge. It's Prince Charming's fall vacation week, and the girls were begging for just two things. To ride on a big airplane like Daddy flies, and to go swimming at the beach. My requirement was a short flight, family friendly place to stay, and booze. Prince Charming went to work and next thing I knew, he had booked us a long weekend in Cancun! LOVE him! We rode down there on vacation passes, which means standby, and it's not really easy to get to Cancun on standby, but we made it. The girls were FABULOUS at the airport waiting through several full flights to finally get on a plane. People movers, people. Best inventions EVER! I think we rode back and forth and back and forth no less than a hundred times. I had a bag full of tricks from the Dollar Tree and gave them the LAST one as we boarded our flight. They both did beautifully. HRH's ears hurt her a little as we were landing, but we made them pop (she says crack) by opening her mouth BIG to see how many tacos she could fit in it at once. A shuttle to the resort and within 30 minutes, Prince Charming decided we needed to stay one more night, so he took care of that while the girls and I stood on our porch and looked at the ocean, which was literally 50 feet or so away.



So we had four days and nights of swimming, beach time, nachos, theme shows, a ferry ride over to Isla Mujeres..........


Isla Mujeres is amazing. The water is so blue that it seriously looks like someone dumped food coloring in it. We didn't take a tour or anything, just rode the little local ferry and stepped onto the island with no plan. SO fun. We rented a golf cart and puttered all around the island.... there is a sea turtle farm that is so much fun! The girls got to pet sea turtles and sharks and the people are SO nice. They treated the girls like little princesses everywhere we went. We drove around while the girls took a nap on our shoulders and just admired the beauty of the island, then found a hole-in-the-wall cafe and had the best meal of our trip. Two shrimp tacos, six cheese quesadillas, four beers, two bottles of water..... less than $20! Can you tell how relaxed and happy we are?


The night before we came home, HRH went to bed saying "I want to stay here forever all my life" and in the airport back in Houston waiting to go through customs there were several amused looks from people listening to the girls begging to go "BACK TO MEXICO!!!" HRH has been browsing through the Continental Airlines magazine, asking about where certain pictures were taken, and has decided that she wants to go to Vegas now. :) I told her to give me a few months to catch up on laundry and stuff first!

The Hurricane, the SEQUEL?!?!?

After witnessing an exchange between my little Hurricane and our cable guy last night while he was dropping off a new remote (at 7:30 no less! Yay for Suddenlink!.... and by exchange I mean that the Hurricane kept jumping in between our cable guy and Prince Charming while they were discussing remote controls and yelling "hey, SIR! I a pincess! I Awiel! Tister is Seeping Booty. I Cinnerella! Tister Tow Wite! I pwetty! Watch me dance like-a-rella! I a Cheetah Girl! I Aqua. Tister Dowinda and Mommy is Chanel!". :::::sighs::::: At least she said "sir", right?) and realizing how many people say that she acts JUST like me (Okay, okay, it was mainly my mom, and mainly when the Hurricane was in Category 3 or higher mode), the thought occurs to me that I should send my mother flowers fairly often. Okay, really I thought I should send her Vodka and Xanax, but I don't think I can really do the Xanax bit, and the vodka alone would just be sad, right?

On a brighter note, this kid is so freaking smart! She knows all of her colors, has sung her ABCs for over a year now, has been able to spell her name for about that long, too, can count to like 16, knows 0,1,2, and 5 by sight (I still can't figure out how she learned that one), can count to 10 in Spanish, is peepee potty trained (we're working on the other bit), and has a memory like an elephant (they're the ones with good memories, right?). She's also one of the MOST flipping adorable children I have ever seen, has joy radiating from her pores (most of the time :X) and has has the sweetest little voice. I could listen to her talk all day long. Most days. Who am I kidding, that IS what I do most days, lol!!

Well, if you're a semi-regular reader, (or have read more than once or twice) you know that you can never trust me if I say I'm going to blog "tomorrow". Here in JuliLand, "tomorrow" means sometime after I've slept. I never say how many TIMES I will have slept, lol! To be honest, I COULD have blogged, but I'm known as something of a procrastination queen, and I instead chose to make a nap mat cover for someone at the girls' preschool, do some embroidery, make my very first brisquet ever, blow up the bouncy house and let the girls have some friends over to jump, buy some Halloween fabric, plan some FABULOUS H'ween skirts and dresses for the girls and a few kids I sew for, and be online searching for a new dining room table and chairs that will eventually be my breakfast nook, and trying to figure out something to blog about. No wonder I'm tired!

DWTS, I won't do a HUGE recap, but let me just say that it looks like a fun season! The girls are excited about "Jake Ryan" from Hannah Montana being on there, and HRH thinks that Misty May-Treanor looks "kinda like my teacher!" LOL! DH thinks Misty May-Treanor is pretty, and I think MAKS is pretty, so we're all pretty thrilled around here. Although, I will say that I'm a little irked that they're allowing curse words on it. I'm no saint, and I'm no prude, but it was nice to have a show we could watch together without having to worry about crap like that. Eh, well, I guess we'll just have to say "you can't say that" when we hear bad words, but it still irks me.

Exercising, for anyone following my saga, lol. Prince Charming got me back to the Y this week. I reminded him that LTG wants me to just do the treadmill or elliptical, yet he managed to sweet talk me into some weight machines. Damn those gorgeous eyes of his @@. So ever my biggest cheerleader, he conned me into doing WAY more than I should have done and NOW I'm sore. I'm not sure what muscles are sore, they're in between my collarbone and my armpit. NOT a fun muscle to have sore. (I thought I had heartburn or something, I didn't know WHAT the heck was going on. Stop laughing, Lara.). Then the NEXT day, he had the nerve to get me BACK to the weight machines again. (I know, I know, it's technically MY fault, but I don't really do technicallys) After one too many "work THROUGH the pain"s, I convinced him I was done (and I'm sure it had NOTHING to do with the mathematical equation I was forming aloud that correlated the length of time I had to do those cotton-picking exercises to the length of time until he would see his wife naked again, right?) and we stopped and all was right with the world again, lol.

I'm in a blogging funk. What should I talk about?

p.s.- I realize the ridiculousness of me complaining about the language on DWTS right before I'm cussing about my husband's bedroom eyes, but it's MY blog so get over it ;)

Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh.................

I will blog tomorrow, I've started exercising again, with my drill sergeant, oh, I mean Prince Charming. But for tonight, I'm going to sit here on my couch with a nice glass of Merlot and some M&Ms and wallow dreamily in the return of Maks and Alec on DWTS. :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::sighs::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Reasons that GaGa's house is better than ours

According to HRH:

~ "Ducks. And geese. And we get to feed them with corn out of a milk jug. But not the swans, they're mean and I don't like to feed them"

~ Dixie Doodlebug is here (My mom and stepdad's little princess of a dachshund)

~ Tea parties and ironing (my mom has her ironing board toy from when SHE was a little girl with a toy iron and the girls adore playing with it.... wondering how old they have to be before I can let them actually iron REAL clothes :X)

~ Because of how close we are to Aunt TeTe (Keri) and SaSa (Sara) and their families and dogs and cats.

~ Because we made an apple pie all by ourselves here

~ Because we go to Texarkana and Shreveport

~ Pop is here and he will have tea parties with us and feed the ducks with us.

~ Walking down the driveway to get the mail (we have a mail slot at home).

~ Doing homework (with school being out, HRH wanted to do school, so we bought some workbooks and she is BLOWING through them. This kid drinks in new things so fast!

~ Falling asleep with Piper (our dog) in the rocking chair every night

~ Sleeping all in the same room at night

~ Going to visit Grandmere at her "villa" (My 98 year old grandmother who lives in a nursing home right down the road from GaGa's house)

And I have to say, I pretty much agree that these are all wonderful things, but Lord almighty, I am DEFINITELY ready to get back to my own house and my own bed!!!

Ike, the update

So Prince Charming went to check on our house on Sunday. We're still living here in GaGaLand, the girls are in heaven. We did manage to draw Ike this way, and lived with no power HERE and no telephones for a day or so. But all is back to work now and we're all happy. Prince Charming was TRULY a Prince for going home, cleaning up, and most especially cleaning out the fridges and freezers for me! We were very lucky, in that we had only VERY minor damage to our house. There is a small hole in our roof, looks like a branch speared it in one small spot. It is already patched, though, and can hold a few months until the people with more major repairs get theirs taken care of. We lost two big trees :*( But all in all, we are SO happy. We should be without power there for a while, though. They're telling us 3-4 weeks, so we're just taking it day by day. I am NOT going back there with two small children and a nervous and hyper dog with no power while Prince Charming jets off to Honolulu every week. I know this much, lol!

What have we learned this week?

* If we evacuate and bring about 5 days worth of summer clothes, we can pretty much guarantee a cold snap, temps in the lower to mid 50s in the morning, where the girls say "Mommy, we're brrrrrrrrzy" over and over again. This calls for a trip to Texarkana to Target and Old Navy.

* Lucky Charms make EVERYONE happy, no matter if you're 2 or 62.

* Who needs power when you have a little ceramic picnic set and mini sterling silver tea service?

* Swans will hiss at you if you get too close to try to have them eat out of your hands, but Canadian Geese and some ducks WILL get close enough to eat out of even a 4 year old's hands. (HRH's contribution)

* Having no cell service at a place you're staying when you are a cell phone junkie is HARD. I make the 100 yard walk down GaGa's driveway several times a day to check my messages and check for texts.

* My girls, in their never ending quest for total domination of the toy world, have discovered that when I am suffering from a lack of sleep, I am more likely to buy them things rather than risk having to deal with a mini-meltdown at the store. I never SAW their little pow-wow, but they teamed up and now the Hurricane is staying awake until 11:00 or so, while HRH is waking around 6, which leaves Mommy with ZERO alone and down-time during the day.

* It is NOT a good thing to have a fall-on-the-floor-and-bang-your-forehead tantrum on a tile floor (Hurricane's contribution)

* The lovebugs can see a Redbox from approximately 2.1 miles away on the open road.

* When choosing to evacuate our house, it was quickly discovered that the only irreplaceable things to me in our house were HRH, the Hurricane, and Prince Charming. Everything else is just frosting on my life's cake.

* Mommys should always keep in their purse : hand sanitizer, an extra pair of panties for each child, peanut butter crackers, Tic Tacs, and a small container of the mini M&Ms.

Feeding the geese:
Our tree (taken with a cell in the rain, so not the best pic, but so sad to lose such a beautiful old tree :*( )

*************************ADDENDUM***************************
One more item to the list occurred to me at WalMart just now

* Even when evacuating from a natural disaster, you can trust me to find and buy fabric. Sunday, I found some zebra cotton, which is SO hard to find, I think I bought a whole bolt, and today I scored some Disney Princess print for $2/yard and some Hannah Montana satin for $3/yard on the clearance rack. The girls can have new nightgowns when I get access to my sewing machine again :)

Oh! And!

FYI, in case you're following my exercise regimen, you can rest assured that I, in my never ending quest to slack off and avoid exercising if I think I can get away with it at ALL, did NOT go to the Y on Thursday and exercise. Instead, I moved all of the mobile things in my backyard into my garage (gas grill, charcoal grill, big plastic slide, Cozy Coupe, Little Tikes picnic table, plastic Adirondack chairs, etc.) and then wrestled my patio furniture to the HUGE pine trees in the backyard (that are probably going to fall on my house tonight or tomorrow) and tied them up. In case LTG is reading this.... OMG I am SO caught up. I could skip exercising for two weeks (and I might :X) and I would STILL be caught up! My legs, back, shoulders, and arms hurt! It sucks! I guess that'll teach me to slack off, huh?

Safe and Sound

After MUCH discussion (and eyerolling and childish sighing and stomping feet on my part, I eventually just said "I don't CARE if a tree falls on my house, but I don't want us and the girls to be there when it happens" and that worked.) we have safely evacuated to my mother's house. The girls are in heaven because we're at GaGa's. :) They've already fed the ducks, and to their delight, Pop has one so tame that it will come and eat right out of their hands! I will definitely be getting pictures of that as soon as the rain lets up.

We didn't have the horrible traffic that we expected, mainly because we took back roads. The highlight of the trip HAD to be when Prince Charming and I, struggling not to laugh our butts off or even dare to look at each other, because we would have totally lost it had we looked at each other, discovered that we had downloaded the NON-radio version of "Hollaback Girl" a little too late and were trying to convince HRH and The Hurricane that Gwen Stefani was saying "Oooooh, that's my ship that's my ship" you know, like she has a cool boat! And then that "this ship has bananas.... B-A-N-A-N-A-S", because she's so nice that she uses her ship to take bananas to monkeys at zoos all over the world. I'm 85% sure that they bought it. We'll see what they say in front of GaGa. Because you KNOW if they figured out that was a bad word, they'll be using the heck out of it while we're here. They're diabolical like that.

Prayers for all of our friends and family who are riding the storm out in the Houston area.

Eek!! Ack!! IKE!!!!!!!!!!!

So judging from the increasingly frantic phone calls by my sister (not Lara, another non-blogging one), and a few "concerned" calls from my mom, it seems that Hurricane Ike might be heading our way. If I was able to watch anything on the television besides Noggin or Disney, I might know this. and if I spent my online time reading news rather than emailing and checking blogs and Perez Hilton (I know, I know, but I can't help it), I might also know it. I really haven't been THAT worried about it. However, Houston ISD is canceling things right and left starting Friday morning, and Brazoria county seems to be evacuating now, so maybe I should start thinking about things.

Prince Charming volunteered to reposition airplanes if they need him to, and if he does that, the girls and I will hitch a ride. But if he doesn't, we're staying here I guess. So, tomorrow, I guess I'm off to the store for necessities. Should be fun (NOT). I sat in line this evening to fill my gas tank. Ugh. So far, I'm planning on grabbing stuff like water, beef jerky, peanut butter, snacks for the princesses, baby wipes, paper plates, matches, can soup/pasta, etc. Any ideas?

Holy crap I just googled:


*****addendum*****
The thought occurs to me that maybe this would classify as a good excuse to not exercise tomorrow? I wonder what LTG would think.

Good Trainer/Bad Trainer

So I met with my little trainer gal (LTG) today. She's darling. She's perky. She's like 12. She calls me ma'am. And I'll bet my eating a big bowl of lima beans that she doesn't have an ounce of cellulite anywhere on her body. I freaking HATE lima beans. I'd rather eat just about anything in the world. Except maybe hot dogs. Don't ask. I can't explain it. It's just one of those things.

So anyway, I meet up with LTG at 10 this morning. (It takes me an hour to drop the Hurricane off at school and convince her that she wants to stay and play. For some reason, she's always sure that she doesn't. Never mind that on Wednesdays, when HRH goes to Pre-K and Hurricane is with me, she gripes at me all day about "why come tister go to school and me not get to?" She's nuts. Comes by it honest, though) My friend J was meeting her trainer (let's call her Lucifer) at the same time. OMG I am thanking my lucky stars that I got LTG rather than Lucifer! She's a freaking monster! J works her rear off. She's so much more dedicated than me. I'd stop going and start screening phone calls. LTG is a doll, she has me fill out paperwork about why I'm there.

* Reason for starting an exercise regimen : to shut my husband up.

* What was your reason for stopping previous exercise regimen : apathy and I never liked my shoes.

* What would you like to accomplish with this exercise regimen : world peace, my children sleeping, $2/gallon gas and fewer dimples on my ass.

* Do you have any physical conditions that would keep you from exercising? : unfortunately, no

* Has a doctor ever warned you against physical activity? : No, but in elementary school Mrs. Carlton told my mother "why bother" when it was time to sign up for dance classes. And I imagine there are countless yoga instructors who will want to throw me out of their nice, peaceful classes b/c I can't keep my trap shut.

And so on and so forth. LTG seemed to be amused, but all answers were the truth! She set a goal for me to work out 3-4 times a week for 20 minutes. WHOA there Nelly! Prince Charming has been busting my butt for 40 minutes on the elliptical this week! I've been hoodwinked!!! I SO cannot wait for him to get home from this latest trip so I can tell him I have it on authority I shouldn't go more than 20 minutes now. :) :) :) She then proceeds to show me around the cardio room. (listen to me all throwing out the lingo like I'm all that! Are you impressed?) I heard "this is the treadmill, you push this big green button to get going". Seriously? Do I look that dumb? Did I fall down walking down the hall to meet you? What's up with that? So I say "Oh! You mean the one that says 'start'?" Just to make her aware that I can read. Then I met my old buddy the elliptical. I told LTG that we were friends. I'm not sure Elliptical is doing anything for my glutes even though I'm doing glute workouts, though, b/c I'm not sore at ALL. Maybe I'm doing it wrong, which might justify LTG treating me a little like an idiot.

She leaves me to exercise. I decide a trip to the car to grab my headphones is a good idea, so I can watch The Price is Right and moan at the bad guesses with the septuagenarian on the reclining bicycle next to me. As I'm walking out, I have the thought that my friend J is working out right in front of the windows with Lucifer. I'm sure she sees me skipping down the stairs while she's lifting 80000 pound weights while hopping on one leg and reciting the Declaration of Independence and thinking "THE HELL she's leaving!!!" I was SO tempted to turn around and stick my fingers in my ears and waggle them and stick out my tongue at her, but then I remembered that I'm 33. I grab my headphones, head back inside, work on the elliptical, record my time (I only padded it 5 minutes) in my little record sheet in LTG's binder and then head home! No harm, no foul! This isn't hard! Next up? YOGA!!!!! I have to find out when they're doing classes.

p.s.--> Can you believe that the spell checker doesn't recognize lima beans?!?!??! I guess I could capitalize it, but that would make it Lima beans, and I'm not sure they're from Peru, you know?

p.s.2--> Upon further reading, I'm not sure it's apparent in the title that the "good trainer" is LTG and the "bad trainer" is Lucifer. I suck at blog titles. But now you know, so it's all good I guess.

Random Sunday

I got featured on Good Mom/Bad Mom's BS Sunday again! Yay me! Thanks, Jenny and Mindy! You gals rock! :)

I read a LOT of blogs, and see so many neat pictures of people's daily activities. They'll talk about a Saturday evening spent in their backyard watching their children playing, etc., and it will show a view of a picnic table worthy of Martha Stewart. I wonder if people really LIVE like this? People with small children, that is. Here's what MY Saturday night in the yard watching the kids play looks like:
Ahem.... take note, if you will. Extension cord left for children who don't listen when I tell them not to run to learn a valuable life lesson :X, naked baby doll who has been abandoned by her fickle two year old mother, playhut balls all over (not showing the ones in the road that we leave for people driving down our street to dodge, we do this as a public service to amuse them.), the thing that looks like a fuzzy pink spider halfway down the middle of the left side of the picture is actually HRH's hair accessory choice of the day (it's a flip flop clip, she LOVES them), lovely half-painted/half-chipped toenails on yours truly, and what you can't see is my dear daughter who decided to jump "nakey bo" meaning that she didn't feel the need to put her pants back on after going potty 5 minutes before this. She had on panties, though. And a shirt. We're not HEATHENS! Oh, and this is our FRONT yard, not the back. Way to drive up the property value, no? Bet the people on the end of our street who are selling LOVE us :X

I haven't exercised since Friday. Was that Friday when I faced the evil elliptical machine? I think it was. Anyway, I haven't had a chance since then. Come on, people.... who DIDN'T see this one coming?

And as a final note, I just have to say I love my friend Dianne. There aren't many people who would laugh at me saying I'd show up at her house if she died suddenly and tragically with a UHaul to steal fabric before her extended family got there. :X But, hey, I also offered to get rid of anything she needed me to before kids and parents got there! That balances things nicely, right? Right?

Have shoes, will ellipticate?

Or whatever it is that you call what one does on the elliptical machine. I found some shoes. With MUCH help from HRH (who was gunning for some hot pink and black shoes with skulls and crossbones on them, plus rhinestones) and the Hurricane (Lime green wedge espadrilles with ballerina laces up the leg...... girlfriend has STYLE!), I found some nice little Asics. I've been told those are good for people with high arches, and I've also been told I possess a pair of high arches. Before now, the only arches I really concern myself with are the golden ones. Both for their fries and for the newly discovered Redbox. Anyway, I got those, found a couple of cute little workout shirts on the clearance rack at Kohl's (best sales hands down of ANY department store), and headed home for a rest. It's hard work gearing up to exercise!

We get home and Prince Charming is like "Alright! Let's get changed and exercise!!!" I reminded him ever-so-nicely that I had already walked all over Kohl's, but he didn't seem to think that counted. Nevermind the skill that it takes to find and try on a pair of sneakers with a sleeping two year old lovebug and a four year old who demands to know why she can't buy a few pair of shoes "since we're already here".

So, we get changed and head to the YMCA. The girls happily (shock!) prance into the child care area, mesmerizing all around with their beauty and charm (not a shock). We leave them holding court over the rest of the group and head to the room with treadmills and things. Prince Charming says "let's try the elliptical". How hard could THAT be? Really! I'm such a good sport that I jump on and get moving. He watches me for a few minutes, then reaches over and turns my machine on. Oops :X I got my headphones plugged in so I could watch some news and start exercising my little heart out. I feel the burn in my legs. I'm thirsty, I'm sweating, my legs feel like jello. I glance down at my little monitor to see this:

Ye, ladies and gentlemen, I had burned exactly 13.9 calories. What kind of racket is this?!?!?!? I'm busting my butt and I worked off 7 Tic Tacs?!?!?!? Nuts. I stopped ellipticating (I'm going to assume this is a real word) to take a picture and the evil machine beeped at me and said this:

How rude!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, we did that for 35 minutes, Prince Charming kept turning up his volume on his headphones. I think maybe I whine a little :X

We did some random torture machines. I have weak deltoids (I think that's what it was), but very strong shoulders and back and surprisingly strong abs. (note: I did not say FLAT abs @@).

Picked up the lovebugs, where they were proud to show off the necklaces they made in our absence. They did great :*)

The girl who's going to be my little "trainer" and help me learn what to do called me today. We're meeting Tuesday morning while the lovebugs are in preschool. This should be interesting :)

Confessions of a LAZY person

Those of you who know me well are fully aware of my extreme aversion to exercise (I'd probably rather just not eat). I've gone through phases of my life where I occasionally exercise, and it doesn't KILL me, but I'm just not a fan, let's say. Prince Charming, on the other hand, is a supreme exerciser. He bikes, swims, runs, etc. He says it's so he can eat what I cook and not gain a thousand pounds (I do NOT cook low-fat, lol). He enjoys it, though. He trains to do the BP MS150, a 180+ mile bicycle ride to raise funds for Multiple Sclerosis. (Why they don't call it the BP MS182 is beyond me. It SOUNDS more impressive, no? I certainly wouldn't shave any miles off of it, I'd want credit for every single inch. I should start calling the walk from my room to the kitchen the JB MM80 feet... or however long it is, I'm not a great judge. Wonder if people would pledge money to fund my M&M addiction?)

Anyway, I digress. Prince Charming managed to catch me in a moment of weakness and "what the heck am I going to DO with my time while the girls are in preschool" to convince me to join the YMCA so we can go work out together. While doing the facility tour, I drew some amused looks from the tour-giver when she was all excited about showing me the "cardio room" (or as it looked to me the "torture chamber with brightly colored blow up balls and catchy pop music playing". PC told me those are called exercise balls. I always called them dodgeballs.) and I told her "I'm just here for the yoga". I could do yoga, right? It's stretching and stuff. Looks peaceful. Cute pants. No shoes. Lara says I have good balance, I can do some freaky windy tree pose she showed me and balance for longer than she thought I would be able to. That's an accomplishment when you've got these freakishly long limbs, too!!

After we signed up, they offered us this thing where a personal trainer will go around with you and show you how to use all of the equipment like elliptical trainers, stretchy machines, pushy weight thingies, dodgeballs, etc. Stop laughing, Lara. For 12 weeks, they'll keep in touch with you and "check on your progress". Prince Charming signed me up. I have a feeling I'm going to be my trainer's favorite person EVER (NOT!). I'll keep you posted.

So now he's all "When are we going to work out? Let's go exercise! Come on!! FEEL THE BURN!!!! WORK IT WORK IT WORK IT!!!" (he's a little crazy, but he sure is nice to look at, so I'll overlook it). My exercise project for today? Go buy some shoes to exercise in. Seriously. I don't own a single pair of sneakers. Well, I have some cute blue ones, but they're totally just cute to look at and would be mad at me if I sweat in them.

I will report in tomorrow on the great shoe hunt.

Special Blog Award?

I wonder if someone would like to nominate me. I'm guessing I might be eligible for either "Worst blogger EVER" or "Most inconsistent blogger of the year". Sorry :X We've been busy!

We spent a long weekend at my parents' house for my big sister's birthday. The girls LOVE going to GaGa and Pop's house. They get to see their cousins, who are quite possibly the most adorable boys on the planet (no offense to anyone reading with sons)

The cousins just adore each other, and there are many tears on our side when we have to leave. I've heard no fewer than two or three times a day "When can we go back to GaGa's house?" since we got home. They are trying to convince us to let them have a sleepover at GaGa's "with NO mommy and NO daddy". ACK! We've never done that before. So Prince Charming and I are thinking we might just try it. Maybe a weekend at The Arlington is in order for us. :)

We also started school. HRH is in Pre-K and the Hurricane is in two day Mother's Day Out. They both did GREAT the first day. I told them they looked too stinking cute to be sad and that seemed to work. HRH wouldn't have been sad regardless, she has been ready for this for over a month. She loves it, and she has a fabulous teacher.

I made the skirts kind of from this pattern : http://grandrevivaldesign.typepad.com/photos/ruffled_skirts_tutorial/index.html . I modified it a little, but it made a big difference, IMO. If you're interested in how, just leave a comment and I'll email you.

The Hurricane did much better than I expected her first day. A dear friend is working up there and checks on her a lot (::::::::::::smooches to Neile::::::::::::::::), so I can rest easy knowing she's with people who love her. :)


There are more pics at their other blog, if you're interested (or there will be as soon as I get both class "room mom" letters written and ready to send home today and get their blog updated).

And now.... a conversation with my two year old......

TH (the hurricane) : Mommy, I go 'lympics. I be nimnist. I do niministastics. I be pantassic. (fantastic)

Me : Oh, baby, of course you can, you can do anything, you're great.

TH : I not great! I TWO!

Me : you're right, you ARE two. You're a big girl

TH : I not big girl! I PINCESS! I LULU!

Me : Ok, you're a princess. Whatever.

TH : YOU NO WHATEVER ME MOMMY! I a PINCESS!

Me : What kind of princess are you?

TH : I a LULU PINCESS! I PWETTY!

Me : You are GORGEOUS!

TH : No, Mommy, I PWETTY!

Me : I give up.

TH : Why you give up? What give up? I no give up.

Me : No, you NEVER give up. You get that from me. Sorry.

TH : Dat's okay, Mommy. I love you big much.

Me : I love you big much, too, Lu. I love you seven hundred and forty five jellybeans and three thousand six hundred and eighty two teddy bears.

TH : Mommy, you silly.

A conversation with my four year old

HRH : Mommy, I told Tyler when we get big I might marry him.

(Tyler is a friend's 8 yr old son)

Me : (choking a little) Oh, really? What'd he have to say about that.

HRH : He said no, he's not marrying a girl. Especially a little one.

Me : When was this?

HRH : When we went to Incredible Pizza while you were at your meeting.

(PTA meeting, Prince Charming met a friend and they took the kids to IP as friend's wife is on the board with me)

Me : Hmmmm, what did you say to that?

HRH : I told him, "we'll see" (said with a sage nod of her head).

Methinks Tyler might ought to watch out in about 15-20 years ;)

My Sunday.....

My day started with getting a mention on Good Mom/Bad Mom's BlogShare Sunday..... Woo hoo for me!


You'd think that would be the start of a great day, wouldn't you? Yes? Well, let me fill you in, LOL! After a night of ENTIRELY too little sleep, thanks to watching Nim's Island with the lovebugs and then Treasure Island 2 with Prince Charming (side note - when did Nicolas Cage morph into someone kind of creepy looking?), then a molar-teething toddler who wakes up during the night demanding all sorts of things....
~Owie, my legs hurt
~Owie, my teef hurt
~I want to snuggle my daddy
~I want to snuggle my sister
~I'm hungry
~I'm thirsty
~I want milk
~I want water
~I need to go peepee
~I need to go peepee again
~I want my mommy
~I ready get up
~I want a breakfast bar
then her saving grace, the reason I don't toss her out in the backyard and lock the door:
~Mommy, I sowwy I not sleepy. I love you so much. I love you like this (big hugs).

Fast forward to said sleepyhead (once she fell back to sleep) wakes up at almost 9! WOO HOO! Wants a Lunchable for breakfast, but whatever. I'm not going to fight her to eat Lucky Charms.

We get a phone call inviting us to lunch at Papi and TiTi's house, NICE! I don't have to fix lunch! Prince Charming is leaving this evening for Rio de Janeiro (all together now.... awww.... poor thing), so dinner is easy too! I'm having Sam's brand Cajun trail mix and chocolate pie. HRH opted for peanut butter crackers followed by a Danimals drinkable yogurt and the Hurricane swears she just wants strawberry yogurt. Great day, no?

I take them to make a QUICK run to Hancocks (stop laughing at me, I'm SURE it's possible. Maybe not for me, but I really thought I just had to run in and grab some purple embroidery thread, as NONE of the seven shades I already have match an outfit I'm monogramming for someone). Well, they're having a MASSIVE sale! I thought we'd browse around a little, giving Prince Charming some time to take a little nap before he leaves on his red eye tonight. Five minutes in, the Hurricane starts crying pitifully because I choose to NOT buy tacky-looking Hannah Montana fabric that costs almost $10 a yard. I get her calmed down by letting her choose some patchwork woven fabric (adorable) for $2.69 a yard! SCORE! Works for about 45 seconds. Then she finds something else to be upset over. Fast forward a few minutes and she's so mad that I really expect an employee to come and ask me to leave (or call CPS). Doesn't want in the cart, doesn't want me to hold her, doesn't want to walk. I'm not quite sure what options she's leaving me at this point. She's escalated to telling me (And I'm saying "telling", while what I really MEAN is screaming at the top of her lungs to me) that "you NOT my mommy! Sister is my mommy! I no LIKE you! I go HOME!" but she doesn't want me to drive her home. At this point, I flat out tell her it's a 4 mile walk so she'd better get started if she wants to be home before dark @@. She's thirty seconds away from a full-floor tantrum, when she suddenly decides *I'M her mommy again. This is probably due to the fact that she just pooed in her panties and her NEW Mommy (HRH) has declined the option of cleaning her hiney-bo and figuring out what she's going to wear as her lame-o REAL Mommy (yours truly) forgot an extra pair of panties. The Nose of the South (HRH) loudly proclaims her displeasure at the aroma emanating from our little Hurricane's drawers. ALL the way across the store to the yucky employee bathroom. Lovely day I'm having. Really. Banner day in mommyhood here!

Get her cleaned up, then get back out and some strange virus has affected my lovebugs. They've been stricken and are unable to hear my voice! Odd! Something tells me that the Hancocks employees might not appreciate me screaming my fool head off at my little ingrates like I FEEL like doing, so I take deep cleansing breaths and calm my racing pulse and rapidly rising blood pressure. At this point, HRH is doing something (I still am not sure what) that causes her to fall, her flip flops flying across the aisle, hitting her head on the wheel of my shopping cart. REALLY?!?! SERIOUSLY?!?!? I'm a good person (generally, just don't drive slow in front of me), what the HELL is the universe trying to tell me here?!?! I stop browsing through all of the cute fabrics on sale, quickly get my two measly selections cut, check out, and go out to the car. I have to enforce the "you weren't good listeners and making good choices at the store, so you don't get the popsicle we talked about, you were WARNED!" rule, which means they're going to gang up on me and yell at me for a while. But they're tired. No naps, so it shouldn't last too long, right? Oh my GOODNESS!!!!!! My lovebugs are half German and half Mexican. Yep. I think today was a record-setting 45 minutes of crying anger to the meanest Mommy in the world. Get home and I've never seen Prince Charming pack his flight bag quite so quickly. Can't say I blame him, but he'd better bring me one HECKUVA present back from Rio, LOL!! At what point is it too early to add vodka to your iced tea? :X

So, the high point of my day was Mindy and Jenny deeming me worthy of a mention. They're so cool, I'm honored. I wonder if this will up traffic on my blog? Maybe I'll start getting lots of comments? I can dream, right? Regi says if I REALLY want a lot of traffic, I need to be controversial. Start talking about penises (penii?), my inlaws, things like that. Guess I'm doomed to mediocrity ;)

How I spent my summer........

My friend Dianne , in honor (celebration?) of four of her kids going back to school, posted a "what I did this summer" blog entry. This got me thinking..... how in the world can summer be almost over? This is only a technicality here in Southeast Texas, as we probably have at least three more months until we have to break out cool weather clothes..... but I digress..... What have *I done this summer? As busy as I've been, you'd think my list would take a few hours to read.

~ Swimming. HRH figured out swimming with no floaties and no lifejacket this summer. All by herself! We are so proud of her! She went, in about two weeks time, from not wanting to get her face wet, to standing on the side of the pool yelling "CANNONBALL!" and jumping in and swimming to the stairs all by herself. :-)

~ Cleaning carpets...... the Hurricane decided she is a BIG GIRL and will not wear panties any more. After much discussion (discussion meaning Mommy saying "let's put on a dipey so we don't peepee on the floor" and Lu yelling "NO! I BIG GIRL! I WEAR PANNIES! PRINCESS PANNIES! HANNAH-TANNA PANNIES!"), it finally clicked in her gorgeous little head and she's fairly successfully pottying like a big girl! Some day, no accidents at all! Yesterday was a banner day, as after a nice meal out for Mexican food, we were strolling around Office Depot picking up the last few things on our school supply list, and she stops and all of a sudden yells at the top her her (very impressive) lungs "MOMMY!!!!!!!! I NEED GO POOPOOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I think everyone was sufficiently proud ;) We ran to the bathroom and she made it! No poo in the panties and all the poo in the potty!! She got lots of special attention for that, even a high five from the nice lady waiting in line!

~ Beach trips. We spent a week in Gulf Shores with Mommy's family , a long weekend in Port Aransas with Daddy's family, and many an afternoon out on Lake Conroe at the little beach area by the dam. The girls call it the "dam beach" :X I actually have a tan for the first time in probably 15 years!

~ Watching my babies grow up entirely too darn fast for my liking. This summer, HRH started swimming and actually WANTING to be away from me, like hanging with her Dad or her grandma or cousins or the neighbors. I'm still not sure how I like that. She's beyond thrilled that she's starting Pre-K in a few weeks. She can't wait to meet her new teacher and see her new friends that are going to be in her class. She's morphed into a teenager it seems some days. Evidently, we're going to have quite the little fashionista on our hands..... for our week at the beach in Gulf Shores, she packed 10 pair of shoes. On the trip, she bought 5 more with her allowance money. ACK!

The hurricane has potty-trained (more or less), moved into a big girl bed, and started looking WAY too old! She says she's excited about starting "school", she's going to go to Mother's Day Out two days a week, but I'm not suse she realizes that Mommy's not staying there WITH her, lol!

All in all, a highly successful summer, albeit one that has flown by so fast and been so busy I still feel like my head is spinning!

Now whatever am I going to do with myself when they start school?!?!?!?

Skype is the coolest thing EVER!

So our new computers came with webcams, which we were SO excited about. We've been using Skype to talk to Prince Charming when he's overseas on a trip, since we don't have worldwide cell service. Coolest invention ever, in our minds! The girls LOVE it, we set the computer down on the floor in the living room and all cram into the little camera area so he can see all of us at once. They take turns doing goofy stuff for him (all the more cool because they can see themselves in the bottom corner of the screen) while I follow them around with the computer so they stay in screen. The Hurricane, of course, feels the need to act out her latest "niministastics" feats for him, while HRH mainly just strikes pretty poses like she's "vogue-ing". Hey, whatever our God-given gifts, we have to embrace them!

In our Skype-induced euphoria, we thought it would be cool to see what other family members we could video-call. So I emailed my uber-cool and up-to-date on all things neat sister Lara to see if she had a webcam. She emails back, something to the effect of "I thought those were only for pervy things". Kind of makes me wonder what the salesman at Fry's thought when we both mentioned webcams as a must on our new computers :X

p.s.--> It's 2008.... why does spell-check not recognize the word "webcam"?

p.s. 2 --> Oh, evidently it's supposed to be spelled as two words. Whatever. I'm sticking with my way!

You can do it, you GO, GIRL!!!!!!!!

So at Christmas, Papi and TiTi gave the girls a "Get in Shape, Girl" Gymnastics set, which consisted of a pink plastic balance beam, a ribbon wand, a super cool pink and purple gymnastics leotard, and an instructional DVD. The Hurricane has become QUITE the little gymnast the last few months. We literally watch the DVD at least 2-3 times a day, even in the car. When they watch it in the car, it trips me out b/c it totally sounds like a SNL skit, Amy Poehler really could nail imitating the gymnast, Lindsey. I'd LOVE to see that!

~Hi, girls! I'm LINDSEY! I'm a GYMNAST! I can stretch, balance, and twirl! I can teach YOU to be a gymnast, too! You'll feel like a champion in NO TIME!

Anyway, the DVD goes through the workout, from the opening song "Gymnastics are FANTASTIC! Gymnastics are FANTASTIC! Balance, turn and twirl, be a gymnast, give it a whirl..... balance, turn and twirl... you can do it, you GO GIRL! You've got talent, you've got shine, just follow me and you'll do fi-i-i-ine!!" sung to future Olympians twirling around and hamming it up a bit. My favorite is the slow-mo video clip of Lindsey doing what seems to be a version of The Wiggles "do the monkey" dance while the camera goes around her in a circle. Her ponytail (which shows what I believe just might be crimped hair) bounces perfectly! Wonder how many takes that took :)

to the stretching song "stretch, stretch, REACH REACH! Come on, girls, do it with ease! Stretch, stretch, stretch it out, gymnasts are the BEST no doubt!" during which you stretch everything from your arms to your wrists ("Roll your wrists, side to side.... right to the left with gymnast pride!") to your legs ("lunge, lunge, steady now.... get a good stretch, feel it WOW!") to your ankles to your neck (this can even be done in the car, as we've discovered here)....

to the post-stretching song "Shake, shake, shake it out, we're all warmed up, there is no doubt", at which point you jump around acting like a crazy person, shaking your arms and legs and giggling maniacally. (More than a little awkward if you're doing this while the gas meter reader guy is in your backyard and catches a glimpse of you :X At this point, you have two options, drop to the floor, pretending to be having a seizure, but realize that you run the risk of him calling 911 for you, or just going with it, you can even throw in a wave and blow a kiss.... we chose this option. I think he's probably going to request a route change.)...

Now on to the REAL gymnastics! We're reminded by Lindsey that gymnasts have to be flexible, they need to be able to stretch and bend and reach in all different ways! She also warns that it takes a lot of practice (we've definitely got that covered here!) but it's a lot of fun! She teaches us how to present ourselves, the Hurricane can do this one perfectly :) She goes through some "gymnastics for dummies" which, is nowhere NEAR as fun as the warm ups and the shake it out. boooooo-ring. gymnastics, mount the beam, turn, yada yada yada...... Lindsey is very conscientious to tell us "good job, girls!" when we do something to her satisfaction. We do a whole routine! Another great song! "You're graceful, you're poised, you have finesse, you've got what it takes to be the best!"

Then we move on to the ribbon wand..... nothing spectacular, a lot of getting whacked in the head, across the back, fighting over who gets to have the actual wand and who has to use the one Mommy made (which by all accounts sucks), etc., at our house. It totally makes me think of feature twirlers... you former band people know what I'm talking about! The Hurricane's second favorite part of the DVD is in this section (her first is the "shake shake shake it out" part), the ARABESQUE! She does this anywhere and everywhere she can find an audience. She'll say "hey hey hey HEY! Watch me do my niministastics!" and do an arabesque, and then follow it with her "superstar" pose (similar to Mary Katherine Gallagher's):

Freaking PRECIOUS, I tell you!... anyway, now we do a ribbon routine! How these songs didn't win any awards is beyond me! I wonder if it's Lindsey singing them..... I wonder where Lindsey is now. This video has to be decades old, LOL! I googled, but couldn't find anything on her. Lindsey reminds us at the end of the video that when she first started gymnastics she couldn't do everything perfectly, and to not get discouraged, and to practice practice practice!!

"Practice, practice, stretch every day! Practice Practice, reach, hey hey. Practice Practice, have some fun! Practice, practice you're number o-o-o-o-o-ne!" at which point, HRH feels it necessary to remind the Hurricane that technically SHE'S number one, and the Hurricane is number two. Insert lovely pictures of girls holding the enclosed score cards (10s, of course) and gold medals, which were NOT included, and I have to hear every freaking day three or four times "where are OUR medals, Mommy?" Thanks a bunch, GISG people @@.

Being that the Olympics are on right now, we're really enjoying watching ACTUAL gymnasts (no offense, Lindsey) do routines. Of course, the favored events are the balance beam (the girls want to know why the Olympians don't get a pink one and they feel sorry for them about that) and the floor routine. The Hurricane attempts to mimic the floor routine, which is just about the best entertainment EVER. I'm not quite sure what we're going to do when the Olympics are over. And what really sucks is that the local rec center doesn't do gymnastic classes for kids under the age of 3. Ugh.

Future Ina Gartens

Ok, ok, maybe more like Sandra Lee, lol..... we like to take shortcuts! Lara and her supersweet boyfriend Jeff walked me through how to make this as this was our first time. I'm sure you can make this with homemade pizza dough, and I probably will next time, but THIS time, we used frozen bread dough, the Mrs Rhodes brand, or maybe it's just Rhodes brand, where you get three loaves of white bread dough for like $2 or something ridiculous like that! Set it out in the morning and let it thaw and rise during the day...... it basically doubled. Then you roll it out (use lots of flour for sticking, and don't forget to cover it while thawing or spray it with Pam or something. We forgot that :X

Anyway, roll it out into a big rectangle, then cover it with preferred toppings. Prince Charming and I had pepperoni, black olives, and mozzarella cheese. HRH and the Hurricane had just the olives and cheese. Next time we're trying italian sausage, bell peppers, onions, green olives, pepperoni, etc.... the works! Then you roll it up in a big jelly-roll style roll and bake it. We baked it around 350 for like 45-50ish minutes. I also brushed the top with olive oil a little before I baked it. It was SOOOO yummy! The only problem we had is that we had a big bubble in the middle of the roll..... any suggestions for how to prevent that? Inger?

My budding cheftastic geniuses :*)







Also, in hindsight, I'd use WAAAAAAAAY more toppings..... I'd stuff that sucker full of them, lol! But overall, WAY yummy. Major thanks to Lala and Jeff for the idea :) :) :) I'm sure we'll be having this probably weekly from now on.

Things I do NOT (and will probably never) understand

~ How my newspaper delivery person can manage 50% of the time to make my paper land in an ant bed @@. Also on the subject of newspaper people, why they will double bag my paper almost every day EXCEPT for days that it rains. WTH is up with that? I called and asked the paper once and no one had an answer for me, lol.

~ What would possess someone to pull out in front of my car on a two lane road when there is like half a mile of NO traffic behind me.

~ How my kids survive on so little sleep. And also how *I survive on so little sleep!

~ Sleeveless turtlenecks. I mean, really.

~ Why automakers don't put one of those hot wire thingies from the rear defroster at the bottom of windshields to speed up defrosting your front windshield. Who do I have to write a letter to about that!?!?

~ How I can spend $200 a week on groceries and never have anything to eat in the house.

~ Doctors/nurses who warn you that (men can stop reading now if they're squeamish) checking your cervix might be uncomfortable (while you're in labor). Come ON. That's like saying the Biltmore is a pretty little cabin. They could at least be honest and tell you "this is going to hurt like a sonuvab*tch and you're going to hate me, but guess what? Worse things are coming!!!"

~ How I can be 99.5% certain that my children have morphed into little demons, yet they fall asleep and 5 seconds later I want to just eat them up in adoration! Bedtime SUCKS in this house right now, I know it will get better soon, and I am SO ready!

Child dice

So I've been trying to think of something interesting to blog about (other than the fact that we had our first successful diaper-free outing today, yay Hurricane!!! A movie, and we only had to make eight potty runs! Woohoo!!! I AM intuitive enough to understand, however, that this is probably not as earth-shattering to those of you who have NOT been following my precious little lovebug around with carpet cleaner repeating every 30 seconds "need to peepee?" But believe me when I tell you it's a big freaking deal here at the castle ;) )

A few weeks ago, Good Mom/Bad Mom had a post about these dice for teenagers. The sides shown read "watch a video", "play loud music" and "argue". That also led to a discussion about the singular of dice (die, if I'm not mistaken). Anyway, I digress...... they were tossing about ideas as to what the other three sides of the dice might say. Seeing as how I'm 9 years away from teenagedom (HALLELUJAH!), I had to think about what my toddler/preschooler dice would show.

1) Loud sigh, foot stomp, yell "You're not being understanding of me" and run to your room

2) Say something Mommy doesn't understand (which sounds identical to something she DOES) and then yell the same word at her over and over and over and over. "No, PANNIES!!!! NO! PANNIES! NO! PANNIES!!" (I really think they might be just messing with me for amusement at this point)

3) Demand a snack. But not any of the 15 snacks I've recommended, in decreasing nutritional value... grapes, yogurt, cheese, goldfish, gummies, etc. Finally demand fried chocolate dipped in whipped cream and if I don't give it to you, start yelling things I don't understand (and probably don't want to)

4) Argue with your sister over the pink doll. Nevermind that there are 3 IDENTICAL replacements within 5 feet of said battleground, YOU WANT THAT ONE!!! Don't give in! No one likes a quitter!

5) Ignore Mommy (blissfully!) ALL DAY until the phone rings and she has a chance for adult conversation for the first time in about ten hours. Immediately when you hear "not much, what are you up to?", run over to her and say "Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy" (while poking her in the butt with a finger) increasing your volume until she is convinced you need an ER trip. When she rushes to get off of the phone, say "watch me do something!" and jump 2 inches off of the ground, then run off.

6) Defy all odds and snuggle up to Mommy and tell her you love her and give her kisses and break her heart with your perfection, ensuring a baby #3 someday.

I DO realize that these would either be some of the largest dice in history, or maybe the tiniest writing on dice in history. I've decided I'm okay with that.

So what would YOUR lovebug's dice say?

I'm back!! And better than ever!

Thanks to my SUPER creative friend, Angela, who made me this adorable banner!! How cute is this?!?! She rocks! Thanks, Ang!

So, I've been like the world's slowest blogger lately. I think of things to blog about, then I think "Oh my word, no one wants to hear me talk about THAT" and talk myself out of it. I'm a goofball. BUT, my sweet Prince Charming bought me a laptop yesterday, so I have a feeling I'll be blogging more frequently now that I can do it from the comfort of my couch while I'm watching Suite Life with my girls!!!

On the potty news front, I'm happy to report that the Hurricane has been wearing big girl panties all weekend with minimal accidents! She finally GETS it! My baby is growing up! :*)

TWELVE YEARS!!!!

I'll be offline most of the weekend, as Prince Charming and I will be celebrating our twelfth anniversary. How is it possible I'm old enough to be married for this long?!?!? I feel young anyway, LOL! We've lived in Charleston, SC, Groton, CT, Newport, RI, Virginia Beach, VA, Chesapeake, VA, and a few towns around Houston. He's given me the best two anniversary presents ever, circa our anniversaries in '03 and '05, albeit one I'm not really ready to repeat this year just yet, so we're going to just spend the weekend hanging out on the lake with our girls.

"That's called comma!"

I was watching Reba in reruns last night (yes, Reba. I LOVE that show. If you watched it, you'd love it too. Barbara Jean and Cheyenne? Freaking HILARIOUS!!!!). Anyway, Cheyenne was talking about her sister Kyra (or Kira, not really sure how they spell that name.) and karma. Reba looked surprised that she knew what karma was and Cheyenne said in her inimitable way "Yeah, mom, it's Buddhist for 'I'm rubber, you're glue' ". I laughed my butt off. My mom is half-mortified, half-tickled that my girls get the concept of karma. We're Baptists, but I believe there's nothing wrong from learning that you reap what you sow ;) And it's fun to stand there and say "that's what we call karma" when they get what's coming to them.

So, about a week ago, we were at the mall, playing at the Children's Museum. After an hour or so, we decided to go to the food court for lunch. There were these two ADORABLE little boys with their dad. The older one was happily torturing the younger one, while the blissfully oblivious dad talked on his cell phone. Finally, the younger son got fed up with the torture and yelled "DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!", at which point the older boy turned to run away as fast as he could, only he ran smack into a stroller (not mine) and tripped and went sprawling and then scrambled up and ran right into a pillar in the walkway. He was fine, but I almost wet my pants when HRH, walking up on the scene, turned to the older son and said "that's called comma". And nodded not unlike Mary Poppins when imparting some of her infinite wisdom, lol.

My, those words are tasty!

We've all eaten our words before (except for maybe my big sister Keri, she can't help it, she was made 98% perfect, it's her burden to bear in life, and we love her anyway ;) ). My most flaming examples seem to be in regards to parenting. I was one of those people who knew SO much about parenting before I had children. I HAD, after all, babysat all of my life and taught preschool/daycares as my only real job. So I WAS an expert, right? I thought so! Since the appearance in our little familia of HRH and the Hurricane, I have discovered that maybe (just MAYBE) I was not quite as naturally gifted on this subject as I previously assumed (perish the thought!). For example, these beautiful ditties have come out of my mouth on one (or more) occasion.... generally when speaking to Prince Charming about how WE were going to raise our perfect (cough, cough!) children as opposed to how other people we knew did it.....


~Our children will NEVER sleep with us. That's ridiculous.
..........................um, most nights, we have two little lovebugs with us in our queen sized bed. Yep, you read that right, a queen! We'd get a king, but our bedroom is too small :X HRH began sleeping with us when she was about 4 days old. This is a direct result from my fear that she would not breathe if I wasn't within 4 inches of her at all times. You wouldn't believe the things I can accomplish while holding and nursing a newborn (or toddler, for that matter). The Hurricane? Coslept in the hospital, lol. Cleanest bassinet EVER! A nurse walked in that first night to "check my vitals" (WTH do they do that anyway? It's freakin 3 AM, I just squeezed a watermelon out of my nether regions, leave me the HELL alone!!) and promptly said "oh, dear, you can't let her sleep with you here" to which I ever-so-nicely replied, "begging your pardon, ma'am, but I just gave birth to this little bundle of heaven, I can do whatever the hell I want to do with her, please don't wake me up again and don't let the door hit your butt on the way out". Or something maybe not quite as nice as that. In my defense on this whole subject, I do try to get them to at least start OUT the night in their bed once they hit 18 months or so. LOL!


~Yeah, I'll nurse, for a year, probably. Why on earth would you need to do that longer?
................ I'm nursing an almost-28 month old. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep crappy comments to yourself. I'm not asking YOU to nurse her, so you don't get a vote. I COULD say that I'm nursing her for added health benefits for her and me, as I have a family history of breast cancer, or to strengthen the bond between mother and child, but I'll be totally honest here and say I'm lazy. And a sucker. When she cries and asks to nurse b/c she's sleepy and says "pleeeeease, mommy?" I'm a puddle. Anyway, that falls into the NOYB category for anyone's opinions, so I don't really care what anyone thinks about it, for the record.


~As soon as baby's about 6 weeks or so, I'm finding a good sitter and having a girls' night out. (stop laughing Lara. I can hear you in Houston). Um, yea. I'm a tad bit "attached" to my girls. HRH had never been away from me for more than about 3 hours when I was in the hospital having the Hurricane. Hardest thing for me about having a second baby? Not the pitocin, not the labor, not the delivery, not the afterpains (which SUCK and no one will tell you about so you're wondering WTH is happening to you!)..... it was being away from my 2 yr old overnight. I couldn't sleep at ALL. No one has ever watched my girls for me that wasn't a family member. And I mean grandma or aunt.


and the best one ever?


~I will never let MY child behave that way!
...............I have carried both of my children, usually on separate occasions, but on one memorable day at the same time, surf-board style out of a store, while they were screaming at the top of their lungs at me. Generally this is caused by my refusal to buy a duplicate of a toy that we already have that they do not play with NOW or by my refusal to let them put 7 pieces of gum in their mouth at one time. You'd THINK I'd get appreciation for the fact that I am, in fact, saving their life in advance, keeping them from choking, as the Hurricane thinks gum is to be chewed about 10 times and then swallowed, but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. @@ Ungrateful little heathens!


And I have a two year old who bites and hits and pushes. All the while looking like a precious little delicate angel. Here she is, attempting to talk her way out of being in trouble one evening:






How could we stay mad at that precious little thing?

I'm sure I have more, but those are the biggies. :-)

Lara's "weird" sister

So, my uber-cool little sister Lara:

has blogged about her weirdo personality traits.

As her sister, I can safely say she's got NOTHING on me, LMAO!!!!! I'll save some of the more "out there" ones for another day, but here are some easy ones:

~I hate hate HATE for anyone other than me to load my dishwasher. Drives me so crazy that I will reload it after a "helper" has loaded it for me. And by "helper" I don't mean a two-or-four year old helper, I mean my husband or mother-in-law :X

~I am adamantly opposed to children's movies being sad. I edit the movies HRH and the Hurricane watch, lol. I swear, my kids are going to grow up like Phoebe on Friends, they think that Finding Nemo starts at chapter 3, where Nemo wakes up yelling "First day of school!!!!"

~On the rare occasion that I have cash in my wallet (don't ask.... I pay for everything with my debit card. It works MUCH better that way for me. Cash is like Monopoly money to me, it's play money. Blown easily at Starbucks, Taco Bell, whatever), the bills all have to be face up, right side up, in ascending monetary value.

~I hate feet. HATE them. I don't want to look at them, don't want anyone to touch me with their feet, etc. The only exception is baby feet. And my children's feet. And HRH's are starting to skeeve me out. The very thought of pedicures, which most women ADORE, repulses me.

~I am the boogie nazi. I can't stand for my girls to have yucky noses, or even sleep in their eyes. They, after a lifetime so far of this, must have clean noses and eyes when they wake up immediately.

That's about it for now. Surely that's plenty for you to feel a little better about YOUR idiosyncrasies. I know Lara does ;) And as far as how our family "brownie is baked"? I think brownies are ALWAYS better with nuts!